The reason behind it is you

The light of my life

!!This fanfiction contains leaked (possible) spoilers from ep. 17-18.!!

Dressed in a tight black dress and some black heels Petra gets out of her car and makes her way over to the funeral. Petra's goal is to quietly mix into the crowd and not be noticed by JR... but that is obviously not going to happen. The crowd is small. Just a few people, making JR very easily visable. Petra pulls herself together since she has to walk up to her for condolences. JR is very focused on the people hugging and walking by her so she doesn't notice Petra, but Petra notices the fragile form that JR has taken on. JR looks pale, has red puffy eyes and a weak smile. Petra's heart already breaks at the sight of her ex's state making it hard not to break out crying again given the cricumstances. There is only one more person before it's Petra's turn, she gets nervous. What if JR doesn't want her here?

As JR turns to the man in front of Petra she catches a glimpse of Petra behind him and looks shocked, not really responding to the person in front of her. Petra puts on her tough exterior to appear fine and confident, but quickly drops the fassade. Ice Queen Petra is just gonna piss JR off more if she doesn't want her here. It's Petra's turn she walks up to JR unsure of what she should do, say or act like.

"I'm so sorry to hear that Aida has passed, I hope it's okay that I'm here... You know I loved your mom I just wanted to say my goodbyes." Petra rushes out the last part looking everywhere but into JR's eyes, avoiding the risk of a kick in her heart.

"Of course it's okay, I'm glad you came. I know you liked each other, she would have wished for you to be here too." JR says unsure of how to act and if she should touch her, keeping a distance between them.

"Thank you." Petra locks eyes with JR, both pairs of eyes filled with tears.

Petra takes place in the second row on the left side since that one is the closest to the exit, in case she feels like she should leave. The ceremony starts and everyone takes their seats and lucky for Petra, JR sits right in front of her. "Oh god really?" Petra whispers to herself, JR doesn't notice immediately that Petra sits behind her until she hears her mumbling.

"Mhmm?" JR turns around, once again slightly shocked to see Petra.

"Oh nothing..." Petra waves her off, smiling nervously.

"Okay." JR smiles back weakly turning around.

The ceremony starts with some music and then the priest holds a speech. Petra tries to keep in her tears but as soon as she hears the first sob from JR in front of her she breaks following silent tears. Front row was reserved for close family only which contains JR, her aunt, the aunt's husband and JR's cousin, basically leaving JR on the side by herself. Aida's sister holds a eulogy JR helped write because she knew she wouldn't be able to read the eulogy about her mother out loud without breaking down. 

"Aida was raised by a strong woman, became an even stronger one and continued by bringing a strong woman into our lives, her daugther Jane. Jane my niece is very much like Aida intelligent, independet, ambitious and just as beautiful as our beloved Aida. Aida, my sister was always there for me lifting our spirits with her great sense of humour and kind sense of care. She influenced many lives no matter how well you knew her you have a memory of her that influenced you in a good way and even though she was so very sick she always managed to keep creating happy memories. The happy lively woman she was..." Aida's sister, JR's aunt continues with the eulogy.

At this point JR is trying hard to listen her sobs making it almost impossible though. 

"Hey do any of you have some tissues?" JR turns around to ask for more tissues barely audible enough for the people in the second row.