Call Me When You're Sober

Part 5

Jade West calling..

It was Sunday, the day before Jade went to rehab. I hadn't talked to her much after the dinner we had. Only a few times to check up on the kids. I think we both knew that everything that needed to be said was said, and now we just needed to think on it.

I hesitated to answer the phone, mostly because I knew that she was going to speak about tomorrow. I didn't want to talk about it, I didn't want to think about it. Not because I wasn't proud of her, but it was just giving me so much anxiety already.

My phone vibrated some more on the table. If I let it ring just a couple more seconds, It would go to voicemail. Perhaps that would be a good idea. I could gather myself together more and then call her back later?

I don't know.

I don't really know much of anything right now. It's like my mind is blank and I can't even think of my name.

Wait- What's my-

Tori. Right.

"God dammit." I whispered to myself.

"Mom?"

I looked over to my daughter and smiled weakly at her. "Whatcha need, Hun?" I asked getting up from my seat and walking over to her. "Are you hungry?"

Haley shrugged and moved to take my place where I was sitting. "Yeah, kinda."

"Well how about some pizza rolls?" I opened the freezer taking the bag of pizza rolls out, watching her nod in response.

Once I put them in the oven, I walked back over to my phone to see if Jade texted me since I 'missed' her call.

1 missed call from Jade West

1 voicemail

I tapped the screen of my phone with my nail debating on listening to it now or later. She normally doesn't leave voicemails. It must of been important then, right?

I glanced over at the oven and then Haley, before making my decision.

"I'm going to step outside real quick, okay? Tell me when that timer goes off." I kissed Haley's head and then slid the backdoor open.

Air caught in my lungs once I lifted the phone to my ear and I closed my eyes.

"Hey Tori, uh- I know you're probably busy, but I just wanted to say my final goodbye before I leave tomorrow. I don't know if you forgot or not. Well, I know you didn't- I don't know. I'm sorry.

But anyways, I know this voicemail isn't the greatest, but I'm trying. Look Tori, I promise when I get out I'll be different this time. I know I say that a lot, but you have no idea how much I mean it this time.

After that last night with you at dinner, I've been thinking a lot about what you said. You were one-hundred percent right. Everything you said was true. Thank you for being so honest with me by the way.

But what I said was true too, I'm going to try. And trying isn't good enough, I get that. But I want to achieve this one goal. And that's be there for my kids. And even you Tori.

You don't have to call me back, and that's okay. I get that. But I wanted to say bye. Please tell the kids I love them. And that mommy's going to see them soon.

Goodbye Tori."

Tears dropped from my eyes almost immediately hearing Jade's voice. How it sounded to desperate and like she needed this. I think the hardest part of that entire voicemail was that there was no 'I love you.'

I know it sounds ridiculous, she just left me that whole message and that's what I'm worried about? That's not what I meant though. It's the fact I know she didn't say it because she didn't want to push.