Dani Cimorelli - I'm Not Okay

Drowning

Dani's POV

As I jump, I start to panic. Good memories rush into my head. Like that one time when me and Lauren were going to buy something and when we got to the checkout I started crushing on the cashier so Lauren asked for his number and we laughed the whole way home and never even texted him.
Sad memories too. Like the time that Lisa saw a dog get run over in the streets and turned round to me and gave me a massive hug.
It's weird though. Before jumping, I felt so fed up with life, so hopeless, so sad. And now I'm remembering all of these things that made my life so good. It's almost like- like I still want to live.
I WANT TO BE ALIVE!
I'm full of terror as I realise what has happened. I'm going to die. I don't want to die. I want to make my own music. I want to have kids. I want to have a husband. But right now that doesn't seem very possible since I'm falling towards the water and I'm about to die.
I hit the water.
I kick my legs and wave my arms. I do whatever I can to stay above the watet, because if I go under, I might not make it. I look up and see Lauren screaming at me over the edge.
"Help!" I pathetically choke out. I can barely speak. The water is rushing into my lungs and burning my insides. I'm crying so much too, and I want to scream as loud as I can. I try again.
"HELP!"
That was a little bit louder, but not enough. They're on a bridge above me, I can't expect them to hear me from up there.
My arms and legs are getting tired. I know my body is shutting down. I try to warm myself up as much as I can, but I'm running out of time.
Lisa's eyes are no longer on me and even Lauren is busy talking to someone else. It's like they've run out of hope too and they just don't care anymore.
I start losing hope too. I stop kicking my legs. I stop waving my arms. I can't do this anymore.
My time has run out.