I don't want my freedom • Dealor

Live for tomorrow

Brian found Roger literally with his face on John's business when the guitarist went to call Deaky to dinner. They expected hear complaints from the oldest, but Brian only said that he 'wished to have a camera to frame this moment for posterity'. Something bizarre to tell two close friends caught in the middle of oral sex, but they laughed.

With Freddie it was a little lighter. He was walking through the lounge when John and Roger were playing cards. Roger asked, with a low voice "When can I go to your room? I've spent the whole day thinking of your ass..." and Freddie didn't hear the rest because Roger got closer to John and whispered in the brunette's ear.

Freddie spent some days making subtle jokes with double meanings to Roger and John, and talking about asses all the time. At a very explicit joke about fingering, John rolled his eyes. "Freddie, everyone here already got that you know Roger and I are shagging."

"Good." Freddie smiled. "But I'm still upset that none of you looked for me. You know I'm a bit voyeur."

"Fuck off, Freddie." Roger said, but laughed after.

"I'm glad that you have found something... recreational to do here." Brian said, trying to keep serious. "As long as it doesn't mess with the songwriting and the recording..."

"Or stop us sleeping at night!" Freddie added. "Roger, everyone in the house doesn't need to know that you came."

"Tell that to Paul too, please." intruded John. Roger looked at him and winked, thanking him for the defense.

A couple of days passed, and John was thinking of telling Roger something, since the drummer still didn't say a word. They were in the bassist's room, kissing, and Roger already wanted something more, so he stopped the foreplay, and his hand was already unzipping John's pants when the youngest said "So...Brian and Freddie know about us."

Roger looked at him. "True. But talking about them doesn't really excite me, so..." Roger looked again to John's pants.

"But this changes things." pointed out John.

"What do you mean?"

John sat up, and Roger did the same (even though he clearly didn't want to). "It means that we don't need to stay in my room, like it's a secret." started John. "We don't have to pretend anymore, Rog."

The blond knew that this day would come eventually, sooner or later. He had been expecting it since the day Freddie spoke to them, because now Roger wouldn't have any reason to keep a healthy distance from John's affections. Now, with everyone knowing about the two of them hooking up, they could be free, with nothing blocking their cherishing or displays of affection. And Roger was really getting away from that. Restricting their meetings to John's room made them casual, and moving outside of those walls would make them real. The drummer didn't want something real (or he wanted to believe).

And that was the real hole in his plan, because he knew, deep down, that something bad would come from it. Something bad always happens when you have intimacy with the person you're screwing, and that's why Roger always limited himself to having sex with people he didn't know. Sex with strangers was easy: he got some information about them, had sex, moments of pleasure, said goodbye and each one went home. No after, no mornings. Roger liked this dynamic, he didn't have any regrets and didn't hold him either.

But this time was different. It's John Deacon, one of his best friends, he was talking about. He wasn't anyone random. He was someone important.

"Deaky, I prefer when we're here, it's more fun." argued Roger. And he gave a pleasant smile. "Besides I don't know if I can't let my hands up your waist if we kiss in front of them. Brian and Freddie already asked us not to do anything explicit." And Roger leaned his lips on John's and kissed him.