Abused Tsuna One-shot Collection (KHR)

Shattered Innocence

Summary: He was seven when he first called his stepdad as "Otou-sama" after being slapped so hard on the cheek. Then... he was twelve when he realized how wrong everything was.
Warning: sexual abuse and suicidal thoughts
Published on 2017 on both AO3 and FFN.

Shattered Innocence

Sawada Tsunayoshi was seven when he first met father, the true face of his stepdad. It was the strongest memory that he had during that time. Only because it was the first time his stepdad had slapped him so hard on the cheek after demanding to be called as "Otou-sama".

The brunet could say that it was frightening and even now. He was still afraid, of many things, of father. He could mask his fears on public and from everyone but privately he was crumbling. Even more so now, that he had started to realize just how wrong everything was.

Tsuna thought that perhaps, if he could still live in ignorance, he wouldn't feel so awful and dirty. He wanted to live in ignorance. He wanted to but couldn't, not anymore.

Tsuna wished he were still six years old. His kind oblivious mother would still be alive, and even if his stepdad touch him weirdly, he would think it was normal. His mother would still hug him every night then he would cuddle with his mother even if stepdad was on his left then would be touching him a bit ticklish when his mother would get up early in the morning to cook food.

He wished he were still that little kid, who would squeal with delight when his mother would pat his head after getting a star on a drawing assignment on school or when he would giggle when his stepfather would pat him on the head after a whisper of: "Don't tell your mother, okay?" And he nodded as an answer. After all, during that age, taking a bath with his stepfather that would touch him on his chest and between his legs were considered normal on his mind. It just showed his stepdad love him and was shy to show it in front of his mother. That's why he had to keep it a secret between them. Even the thought of sharing a secret between his stepfather – during that age - was enough to make him let out joyful laughter.

Despite wishing that he could still be six and ignorant yet happy and oblivious. Tsuna couldn't stop feeling angry for being so naïve and affection-hungry little kid. He wished that he was six and knew that an older man touching him perversely as his stepfather did was not normal. That he should have told and his mother would sue her husband.

However, he was already twelve and it had been six years since it all started.

Tsuna couldn't take back the actions he had taken on his earlier years. He admit he regretted his actions since it lead him to be this miserable. He wanted to be six and knew what was wrong. If father wasn't on his life then mother would still be alive. After all, even without any evidence Tsuna felt that his stepfather had a hand on his mother's car accident.

If he knew what was wrong he wouldn't also be an idiot to accept perverted kind of touching as a sign of familial affection.

If he was six and he knew what was right and wrong. Maybe he wouldn't be this pitiful and was about to fall into depression.

If only… he could have a second chance, the likes he had seen on television shows, were real.

…Yet he was a twelve-year-old young teenager that didn't believe to such ridiculous nonsense, not anymore. If wishing for something to come true was real, then his life would have been better already but miracle and wishes weren't. So, he was here, wallowing with pent up and hidden emotions, making him wonder how he could still get up in the morning and act like a normal student slash teenager in a normal boring neighbourhood aside from the fact he was being molested on almost daily basis.