The flex seal was finally added. It fixed everything! If fixed nearly ALL of her life problems. It even fixed her broken ass marriage which allowed Karen to grow the fuck up and take the damn kids! She divorced that son of a bitch and took her first and second born children to her remote cabin in Oregon where she forced them to survive on insects and the occasional rodent. The taking of these kids is exactly why it is greatly, and I cannot stress this enough, GREATLY advised for you to date not only HER but also her childhood friend at the same time and start a great, beautiful, loving polyamorous relationship all while undoubtedly neglecting the kids; however the kids are accustomed to being neglected by mother Karen as she ruins them on the daily and only interacts with them when she needs a fix. The seemingly glorious relationship quickly takes a wrong turn and tumbles downhill; Karen and her two spouses become really fucking bitter and argue so frequently that she thinks about kermitting sewercide at least 69 times per day! She literally threatens to ass fuck them until they forget how to breathe even though she knows damn well that they will die a painful death if she shoves anything bigger than a bobby pin up their assholes. At this point she gives absolutely no fucks if she's charged with second degree murder. However, instead she gets depressed because her love life is falling apart and copes with it by yeeting her first born into the busiest highway in the fucking world. In fear and rage she jumps onto a moving train that is travelling to the hottest state in the United States of America, Alabama. Here she finds her 2nd cousin and passionately hooks up with him to try to fill the empty gap in her lonely heart that was created from her previous marriage. In the meantime her sister is forever tramatized and runs away as fast as she can only to become a goddamn prositute and get pregnant and repeat the same mistakes her dumbass sister committed, later getting shot with a rifle by her pimp while being 8 months pregnant. Luckily, a random necrophilia-obsessed hobo on the street finds her shot body and falls in love, soon realizing that theres a whole ass fucking baby inside this bitch. Thankfully he reaches in and pulls the baby out of her, frantically running to the nearest hospital in hopes of saving the infant. Later in the intensive care unit the premature baby manages to miraculously survive. Holy guacamole that's a badass baby! That little bitch survived such a horrible 8 month period in the womb of a thot but it made it out! That baby is actually Barack Obama. He becomes a reality TV star at age 4 and a half and soon after pursues a career as an adult film actor. Later after gaining hella wealth from doing porn he eventually levels up to pimp mode 100 which is exactly when he decides to become president of the United States. The baby, now president, decides he has had enough of being alive as a human so he snaps his grubby ass fingers and in a split second turns into goddamn Shrek! Holy fuck he is so happy to finally be his true self, a sexy beast ogre who lives in a humid swamp with a talking, dragon-fucking donkey. He finally feels at peace with himself so he proceeds to search far and wide for his long lost aunt, Karen. After hours and hours of relentless searching, Shrek eventually finds her in a cardboard box under a bridge smoking weed with the one and only Snoop Dogg! Karen's unvaccinated incest baby chills on Snoop Dogg's bigass blunt minding it's own business. Shrek is so happy to have found her! He crawls on all fours up to Karen and immediately proposes to the love of his life. Of course Karen cant deny Shrek's sexy self! Snoop Dogg and incest baby watch in awe and wonder as the two lock lips and disappear into thin air.
