The 53rd Hunger Games- Two Words

46.Sewn Together

Medicine is pumped into me. Doctors use foreign words. I see myself in glass, in the shiny instruments the medical personnel use. Is that me? Half-conscious. Bleeding. Broken. Bruised.

Mangled.

I look dead.

The pain is taken away from me. The pain in my wrist, in my chest, in my foot. Not in my heart.

Not in my heart.

***

The day is hot. Dry. Flowers line the road. They are impossible colours. Red, white and pink, yes, but also neon yellows, bright greens and blues.

Hadrian waits for me at the end of the road. Clean white clothes. No lacerations, no bruises. I take his hand.

I am ripped away from that dream. Plunged into another one.

This one features me as the girl from Nine. Argus as himself. His grip is too tight. He yells at me. Fear swallows me up, and I can’t think to do anything but run.

I break free. In this dream, I am uncoordinated. As I run, I trip again and again. I am slow.

Argus catches me again.

He smiles at me, asks me where Hadrian is. I tell Argus that Hadrian is dead. I am slapped for my unsatisfying answer. Oh! The sharp sting of pair brings tears to my eyes.

“You know where he is!” he yells. “You know!”

He brings up an axe. My axe. He lodges it in my chest. I scream. The grass rushes up to greet me. I sink through it, down and down. The colour changes.

I am swimming. Swimming towards the surface. Towards the red sky.  I can see where the water ends and the air begins. My lungs ache. Air. That is what I want. Air. Even though I kick, even though I propel myself through the water, I never reach the surface. It only gets further and further away.

I wake gasping for air.

***

A mask. It covers my mouth, my nose. Forcing oxygen into me. I can’t sit; a combination of dizziness, numbing drugs and restraints keeps me lying down.

Tubes have been inserted into my wrists, my forearms, my torso. The numbing drugs keep me from feeling anything. I still look like I’ve been in the arena. My wounds are not yet healed, but held together with stitches. Bandages. I am clean, I notice. Has someone bathed me? I do not have the unitard on. I wear a white gown.

Am I on the hovercraft? I cannot hear properly. There are only murmurs, and the clicking of machinery. My vision is blurred.

Voices are raised. Has someone noticed I’m awake? Footsteps sound. Heading towards me.

I forget where I am. Where am I? So I start screeching, the only thing I can think to do. I cannot let them touch me! They are injecting things into me, things that will kill me! I cannot form words.

Stay away!

I try to get out of the restraints, but they are too thick, too strong. I need to get the tubes out of my arms!

The purified air I breathe turns sickly sweet. The stench overpowers me.

I am sent back to sleep.

More dreams of Hadrian. In some he is happy. In some he is dying. More dreams of Gladius. He is with Promina in one of them. How will I tell her that he loves her? I can’t stand it. Anything that reminds me of him, I can’t stand it.

Dreams of Argus. Marina. Jem. Arabella. The girl from Nine. The boy from Five. Delphi. My father. Once, I am taking part in the interviews before the Games again. People yell at me, throwing hats, cloaks, coats. I am buried in the clothing, suffocating.