sympathy for the devil

save me

Gray wasn't in Hell.

He'd been there enough times in the visions with Azuron to know that this wasn't where he'd been expecting to end up. There was no screaming, just a peaceful calm and the sound of a river nearby.

"Hello?" Gray pushed himself to his feet, looking down to see himself entirely intact. No burns, no blood, not even a bruise to show from the battle he'd just been through.

He didn't feel dead.

Gray frowned, looking around in confusion. He was standing in the middle of a clearing that was surrounded by trees – humid and tropical. Brightly-colored mushrooms sprouted here and there in the lush grass, and when Gray looked up, the sky was a brilliant blue.

"Anyone here?" he tried again.

There was a rustling sound behind Gray and he jumped, whirling around to see a tiny fawn making its way through the grass. It looked at him with dewy, fearless eyes, and Gray crouched down, reaching out a hand until it was nuzzling his fingers.

"Where are we, little guy?" Gray murmured. "I'm supposed to be dead."

"You are."

A quiet voice came from behind Gray and he turned around to see a young girl standing in the middle of one of the rings of mushrooms. She wore a simple white dress, and her hair was a brilliant gold that cascaded over her shoulders. For some reason, Gray wasn't surprised to see her.

"This doesn't look like Hell," he said, settling down on the ground and smiling when the fawn headbutted him, then curled up next to him, resting its head on his knee.

"It's... somewhere else," the girl said, staring at Gray intently. Her eyes were a deep, tawny color, and it made Gray feel slightly unsettled. "We wanted to talk."

"We?" Gray asked. The girl simply nodded. "Uh... about what?"

"Your sacrifice," she said simply.

An ache started to form in Gray's chest, and he inhaled sharply as images flooded through his mind. Natsu, bleeding in his arms, telling Gray, I love you, you're not a monster.

"Is Natsu..."

The girl gave him a sad smile, then waved her hand and a small pond appeared next to Gray. The fawn stood up and dipped its head down, drinking from the clear water.

Gray leaned forward to stare into the ripples, and saw Natsu. He was still and pale, lying in Sting's arms with bloody bandages pressed to his stomach. Sting's face was streaked with tears, and Rogue looked frantic as they whispered something while touching Natsu's forehead.

"He's not going to make it," the girl said sadly, appearing behind Gray. She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder as he started to cry.

"I know," he whispered, reaching out to touch the water. It rippled under his fingers as the image continued. NoW Gildarts was there, touching Natsu's face and sobbing while Silver tried to pull him away. "I failed," Gray whispered, rubbing at the tears that were spilling over his cheeks. "I was supposed to protect him, and I failed. She... I couldn't let her win."

"We know," the girl said.

Gray pulled his knees to his chest, letting a loud sob wrack his body as grief expanded in his chest. It hurt, deep inside him, in the same place that had lit up when he'd learned the word "love."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, shoulders shaking as he cried. "I'm s-sorry, Natsu, I didn't... you wouldn't have forgiven me. I c-couldn't—fuck, I love you so much, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm s-sorry."