when the secret spills

secrets

hey, guys so as you probably saw or ignored in the description. (I dont judge I usually read like the first 2 lines) I have absolutely no experience what so ever and I ship MANY MANY ships. this is not my only one but its one of my top. hope you enjoy and it makes you cry. I will try to post often ok?

 Deku's POV

 I've liked Kacchan for a while now... and I've come to terms with my gayness. Todays the day I tell Uraraka about my crush, though she probably figured it out already. When I sat her down I was certain we were alone. Little did I know someone overheard. Exactly what I feared. See, with our class, tell the wrong person and a secret won't last a week. This person however never would have told if they stuck around for the whole conversation. And I would soon find that out.

"So why did you call me here?"

"I wanted to tell you a secret. No one can know ok?"

"My lips are sealed. Now spill."

"I'm gay"

"I knew i-"

"And I like Kacchan"

"...o-oh"

"I know"

"It's just. I dont want him to hurt you more than he already has..."

"That's exactly why I'll never ever tell him."

"W-what? Why?"

"Because I know exactly how he will react."

"But what if he-"

"No. he was my childhood ex-best friend and bully. He hates gay people. He always did. He would bully them too. That's exactly why I never told him, he will just hate me more."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know he was like that."

"Yeah... hey, it's getting late. You should go."

"Yeah" she stood. Realizing the conversation was no longer open to discussion. "Night Deku." she left and went to bed. The next day was pretty normal. But the next, however, things changed. As I walked to the kitchen to get breakfast, I could feel peoples stares on me. And whispers could be heard with my name. I was confused until one person ran up.

"G' morning Deku!" yelled Denki

"Hey" is all I said

"So.... you're gay?" I froze, I glanced back cautiously to see him asking quite seriously. He was not just guessing.

"Yeah..." I said carefully. "Who told you?"

"Oh everyone knows. Its the talk of 1-a." id had it. I stormed into the common room raging. Everyone jumped in surprise. It took a lot to make me this mad. I searched the room for a specific face. My eyes landed on her sitting on the couch. I marched up, not caring who heard and screamed.

"I can't believe you told EVERYONE!"

"N-no I didn't I swear!"

"And now you're lying? I thought I could trust you!"

"You can. Deku I didn't tell!" she burst into tears which I mistook as a sign of guilt, fanning my rage.

"You lying dirty little-"

"Deku" I was cut off by Hagakure. "She's not lying, she didn't tell. I did." we both stared in surprise until I said, my voice freakishly calm,

"What?" she started to shift from one foot to the other sheepishly.

"I overheard you telling Uraraka you were gay and liked Bakugou. After I heard that I left."

"A-at least no one told him though... right?" no one could meet my eyes. Dont tell me HE knows! I was scared now. I was freaking out, practically hyperventilating.

"You idiots!" I exploded. "Do you even know what he's gonna do now! I'll never hear the end of it! He already hates me and he's homophobic. He'll bully me for being gay and play with my feelings knowing I like him!" At that moment Kacchan himself walked out the kitchen.

"You dumbasses. You spoiled my fun. He wasn't supposed to know I knew! Now the teasing won't be as effective!"

"W-wait so you were really gonna do that to him.

"Of course. It's perfect. Hey, I wonder how the citizens would react to know they were being protected by gay trash..." he got a twisted smile.

"Go on tell them. My life is already over. Heck, make my life a living hell and tell them I loved my own bully." I started to walk away.

"Loved?" are you no longer in love with him?" asked Iida

"That's just it," I said whipping around with a broken look in my eyes. Everyone gasps for a second and Kacchan's expression seemed to change. Just for a moment..."No matter how bad he hurts me, I'm still so in love with him. This isn't even the worst he's done and yet even then I torture myself. My heart taunting my brain. Hoping above all hope that maybe, just maybe. He did love me. In his own Bakugou-ish way. That he had reasons, excuses for what he did. Any would have been fine. Even if it was a stupid wimpy one. But he offered no consultancy." everyone was surprised. I had never called Kacchan by name. Even Kacchan himself. He seemed almost stung that I hadn't used the nickname he said he hated.

"Not the worst? But this is terrible. What else has the bitch done?!"

"Has he stuffed you in a locker?"

"Raped you?!"

"Told you to kill yourself?!" I flinched at that one. But it went unnoticed. Kacchan seemed surprised everyone had turned on him so fast. I could almost hear him thinking,' why do they care so much for the damn trashy nerd?!' I stood silent.

"I can't say. I'm not about to run to you guys with my problems. I'm fine..."

"Izuku..."
"NO, you're not!"

"You can trust us. We can hel-"

"It's fine!" I yell feeling my eyes well up with tears id held back forever. "If that's the kind of hero he wants to be, let him! I just pity the people he saves and protects..." on that scathing remark. I turn on my heels and make a run for the elevator and let it close. Hating all of their pitying faces. I didn't want their pity. I wasn't weak! R-right? I'd been determined not to cry in front of the class. But as soon as the elevator closed I let the tears fall. They come like a waterfall. When the door opens I run to my room and slam the door. Locking it and sliding against it to the floor. I cry for what feels like hours until my eyes hurt too much. I get up and head to the bathroom. I pick up the razor and add three more cuts to each wrist. Deeper than the rest. I sigh and set the razor down on my bedside table. I would cut later. I decided I would take a shower. The sound would ward people off. They wouldn't bother me if I was bathing.

sorry for any spelling mistakes I tried hard really. my grammar is at its very best in this I just have a hard time paying attention. I get distracted and forget something like POV or past tense instead of pretense. please be patient with me I am not a fast writer at all. I put a lot of time into this