Loves silence

This story is based off of a short section of my life(names have been changed to protect our identities).

The sun rises on another somewhat normal day, or so I thought, I woke up to the sound of my phones alarm ringing in my ears like a fire drill in school, I got up and started my daily routine before I started my first day at college, I hadn't been in school for 3 months so getting back into the routine of getting up wasn't going to be helped by the countless hours of sleep that I had clocked over the summer, I got showered, cleaned, dressed, and packed my lunch for the day, I remember waking up and thinking to myself "today feels likes it's gonna be a good day".

As I walked out of my house I started to smile at the thought of being with more mature people that I can actually have conversation with but later that day my smile had faded to a scowl as I found that I was surrounded by immature idiots that failed as human beings, as the college day ended I walked to the bus stop when my mum text me asking how my day went so I told her it went great and that I've made a lot of progress on the first day, obviously I lied as not to draw out a long hearted conversation about how "this is my future"and "how some kids don't have the same opportunity as I do" the thought of those conversations still gives me nightmare to this day.

I walked and waited at the bus stop till my bus came, I flashed my bus pass and walked on and took a seat near the back of the bus, I took out my headphones from my bag and began to play music because after a stressful day it always helps, as I was listening to my music I couldn't help but look out the window and I saw a couple sitting with each other on a bench, they looked totally oblivious to everyone around them and that's when it hit me, they were, they didn't care about what was around them because they were in the moment, all throughout that journey all I could think about was that couple and how happy they looked and that I had never felt that way before because...well...I had never had a girlfriend before, I was a 16 year old who had never even kissed a girl before, I always found it to daunting of a task to talk to a girl, I was shy but I couldn't shake the feeling of wanting to feel what love feels like.

As soon as I got home I through my bag down and ran upstairs shouting to my mum"tell me when dinners ready", I jumped on my bed and grabbed my iPad and started search how to talk to girl when an advert popped up, I never usually looked at the adverts but this time it was like I was drawn to it, I entered the site and found that it was a dating site for young people, at first I was apprehensive to the thought of online dating because I thought that it wouldn't feel real, I would find out how wrong I was.

After a lot of back and forth discussions with myself I decided to at least try it, thinking" what could be the worst thing that happens?". I signed up and started looking at my profile and editing it " Name: Calvin Mulrouney- hair colour: dark brown hair- eye colour: green- height: 6 foot tall- looking for: looking for friendship or relationship" in my bio I wrote" I'm looking for someone that I can make laugh and smile, someone that I can show love and affection to" I know, it was terrible but that's what I wrote. I waited a few days to see if anyone would message but to my expectations nothing, so I began to look for myself, looking through hundreds, thousands of profile and bios looking for someone that was like me but to no avail, I decided to widen my search area to America and after a few minutes I was struck by one girls profile, Megan Goodwin, she was 15 and she was the most beautiful girl that I had ever seen in my life, I messages her and waited for 3 hours until she replied, we started to talk and then she asked me a question"are you sure you're okay with me being pregnant?" "Pregnant?" I replied, I had totally forgotten to look at her bio because I was too taken by the angelic smile on her profile picture, she began to repeatably say how sorry she was, I felt so stupid because I didn't read her bio and I felt bad because she was freaking out so I calmed her down and told her that it was my fault. She was 4 month pregnant and for some unbeknown reason I was happy that she was.