Friendship Worth Risking

Chapter Nine

Reid wakes up the next morning about a quarter 'til six o'clock to find the bed empty. He rubs the sleep out of his eyes and searches for Morgan, but he is not in the bedroom or bathroom. Reid gets up and slides on some boxers and pyjama pants; he searches the apartment. It is empty.

Reid tries not to panic. Where is he? Did he leave? I shouldn't have pushed it so far last night. He hates me now. What is wrong with me!? Wait. There has to be a logical explanation for this. Where would Derek go this early in the morning? His head is throbbing in the background; it is not helping him think. Reid buries his face into his hands and tries to think. He can feel the intrusive thoughts creeping in, forcing him to think about a dose of Dilaudid instead of Derek. No, what if Derek comes back? Just think you useless piece of shit! No, stop that, it's not helping. Calm down and think logically. He starts to recite Pi to calm his brain. 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067982148 He feels his heart rate slow back down and the throbbing in his brain decreases. The desire to get his stash is reduced and he feels like thinking is something he can do again. He tries to steady his breathing, but it is still coming in short gasps.

Reid hears a rustling at the door. His gaze snaps to the deadbolt and he watches as it turns. Morgan opens the door, slipping Reid's spare key in his pocket.

"Good morning, Pretty Boy! I didn't think you'd be up yet." Morgan's voice is sunny until he notices the redness in Reid's eyes and the tears on his face. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?" Morgan drops the water bottle he was holding and rushes to Reid's side. Morgan is hot and sweaty, obviously fresh from a run, but Reid doesn't care. He wraps his arms around Morgan and hugs him as hard as he can muster; Morgan is unsure of what is going on. He runs a hand up and down Reid, partially for comfort and partially searching for an injury.

"I'm sorry," Reid sniffles. "I couldn't find you and I just assumed that you left."

"Well, I kinda did. I went for a run before work. I didn't want to wake you up. I left a note on the fridge."

"What?!" Reid shoots over to the refrigerator to find a simple note. "On a run. Should be back by 6. Derek" Wow. I overreacted. Reid turns and looks back at Morgan. "I'm sorry. I don't know what is wrong with me."

Morgan locks eyes with Reid. "Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you. Spencer, I know you're scared that I'm going to leave, but I'm not going anywhere."

"You don't know that. You can't promise me that."

"Fine. I promise that I won't leave you without at least three detailed discussions where I make it very clear how I feel."

Reid tenses up involuntarily, shrinking into himself. "I am aware how insecure this sounds, but I would really like that."

Morgan has crossed the room and wraps his arms around Reid. "It's okay to feel insecure. This is a new thing for both of us. Just do me a favor." Reid leans into the embrace, laying his head against Morgan's shoulder. "Use that gorgeous brain of yours when you heart is confusing you."

"I tried. It was too hard."

Morgan doesn't know what to say. He rubs Reid's back and kisses his hair to try to comfort him. I thought I was the broken one, the one that had all the baggage. It's kinda nice to know that we are equal.

Finally, after Reid has calmed down and feels comfortable again, Morgan pulls Reid into the shower with him (they don't have time to shower separately, you know). The shower is PG-13 though, as they really don't have much time. Morgan does take a moment to pull Reid close and kiss him slowly. Immediately after, of course, he pushes Reid into the water spray, sending Reid's wet hair flying all around his head. They both laugh and it feels natural, like they have been together for years.