էհҽ ʍօօղ ąղժ էհҽ ʂմղ

(Moon and the sun)

Our story was simple. Not really. We were simple but our relationship wasn't. I met him last year. When things were completely different and when I was different. I saw him and I fell in love. I had mixed feelings for him. Since I was eager to know him, I texted him. We talked Day and night and life was good. I would wake up to only talk to him and dodged all of my life problems. He was my life. My friends became concerned. But there was one who helped me get him. Who would be determined to see us together. She helped me stay determined to see him next year as he wasn't in my school. I wanted to touch him, look him in the eyes and commit every sin with him. I was desperate. He was too. And when next year came I guess he didn't feel that way anymore. I guess that he hadn't wanted me after all. I mean I don't mean to sound petty but I guess I was too good for him. After seeing that happen oh so quick I started spacing out. Doing reckless things to people around me. Unforgivable things. Attempted suicide was one. I guess the anger he made me feel that I was too afraid to confront was being taken out on people who didn't matter to me anymore. I didn't care. I was blinded by my feelings of him to even know what he was doing to me. Someone snapped me out of it. She did. She helped me understand from my own mistakes and made me realize what I was doing blindly. And the worst part was; I had done unforgivable things to her too. Later on, when I started to restore my feelings for him, she helped me. She let me make my mistakes. She let me do it. And after I had, she told me what I did was wrong. The wild things is if someone else had done that with me I would have, god knows what I would have done. I felt kind of safe with her. I felt as if what I was going through was meant to be. School just became into an emotional war zone for me. Months later I realized i was scared to have feelings for her. I mean, she was helping me, saving me, loving me, caring for me; and if I'm not wrong, that's what people want from their loved ones. They want all that attention, Love and lust.

I kind of opened up that tab of me liking her more than a friend. I mean what was she not; she had such beautiful deep brown eyes. Dark brown hair with natural strands of light brown that looked tempting underneath the sun; she had the best personality. I loved that way she threw her head back and laughed when she would make jokes. The way she looked almost perfect. I thought about her day and night. We talked all day. We were known as "best friends", but I viewed her as my future life partner. I wanted to confess but I was afraid to lose her; so I admired from afar. And would obviously get jealous when she laughed with someone else or didn't give me attention. I wanted her to myself. My life was all in her hands and Tyler was just beginning to be a fading rumour. After a while of consideration, I opened up to her about liking both genders and to my surprise, she encouraged me. At this point I was dying to have her in my arms and have her rest her head on me. She was my drug. I was obsessed. After I got comfortable with her and let my feelings out. She asked why me and I realized tears streaming down my cheeks. She was beyond okay with it. She never let it got to herself and that's when it hit me; was she really happy? I mean there were people who she would rather not talk to and her life seems dream able. I had never seen her cry, never see her get hurt: she was always laughing and smiling. I mean she obviously got into fights and cussed people out and got into trouble; but she showed that she never let it got to her. She was a free spirit. I was amazed. She controlled her emotions so well that I was nothing in front of her. I guess I was just weak.