♡《•Why Dont We Just Live?•》♡

Life Changing Words - Chapter One♡

I'm
Tired.
I'm so done with life and living and it's to hard to keep my mind right anymore. As I sit on the bathroom floor in a pool of blood receiving punches from my older sister. I cant help but think. As soon as I get up the cycle will start again. I will go shower, go to my room and try to cry and fail.
In the morning I will get up at 4:30am sharp and clean the house.
Head to the coffee shop on the corner of the street and work from 6:00am until 4pm.
I will go home and clean some more.
Make dinner
Watch my family eat it while I'm forced to sit in the corner with a piece of bread.
Get thrown down somewhere in the house and beaten or sometimes worse until they decide they are done.
Shower.
Then try to cry. Again failing
Then sleep

Beautiful sleep. I can escape into a different world. Somewhere where they cant touch me. Although lately they have been making there way into my dreams too. It's a struggle
Let me TELL YOU.

I wouldn't be here if It wasn't for my future. I can see myself getting the hell out of here and to L.A. the second I turn 18. I cant fucking wait for that day. Oh God. Why cant that be now. 4 more months. 4 more. And I'm out. They think I'm not going anywhere. Ha.
Jokes on them. Screw this place.

I get up off the floor after she leaves and turn on the water, cold. As always, because I'm not allowed to use hot water. I jump in and set my timer for 3 min. As to not piss off my mom, and finish everything as quick as I can, cleaning my cuts and punctures. I hope nothing shows outside of my uniform. I get out and limp to my closet/room where I keep my mat and cloths. I crawl onto the map and cover myself with a sweatshirt. I'll deal with everything later. I'm not even going to try and cry. I dose off quickly and have a dream that I was thrown off a cliff.
So much for an escape.

In the morning I hear the ac kick on at 4:30am and wake up as quick as possible. The faster I can clean the more time I have to spend out of the house. Mornings aren't as bad, but if I'm not here when they wake up they sometimes go easy on me at night.
I head to the hall pantry and get everything and work on the living room and kitchen. By the time I'm done, its 5:17am and coffees going, breakfast is finished and I can hear my mom's alarm. I grab my shoes and bag and book it out the door and barely make it out. I slip my shoes on at the end of the drive way and make my walk to the small shop named Gomez grounds and pastry. I get there at 5:25 and decide to clock in early and help my only friend Sarah open up shop.

(An:You're the bolded words)

"Sarah, why are you here so early?"

"I just thought I'd come in and get some extra hours. How about you? You have been coming in early a lot since you started this job."

"I dont want to be home"

Sarah forced me to tell her what was going on at home when I accidentally caved at work and had a panic attack in the back freezer. She sat there with me for an hour just listening to me. She said she's been in a similar situation so my secret is safe.

"Ah, I get that. What happened last night."

We sat at a table inside as the sun started to rise while we waited for our first customers of the day. Great falls, Montana is never busy. Ever. She made me tell her everything and show her the bruises and cuts. She heads in the back not saying anything and grabs the first aid kit and patches me up. I'll have to take it off before I leave. If I walk in the door with them on the cameras will see and they wont be happy.
I hear the door bell and rush behind the counter.