What Is The Meaning Of Life?

•Shattered Heart•

The door suddenly swings open and a psychologist entered the room.

Psychologist : Hello, nice to meet you... Ummm Miss... Irdina... Right?

Irdina : *nod*

Psychologist : So... Can you tell me about yourself?

Irdina : *Shake her head*

Psychologist : No? Why ? Won't you feel better after you spill the bean?

Irdina : Maybe...

Psychologist : I can't help you, if you won't help me first. So please be open minded and pour the secrets out, i promise you that i will keep your secret to my grave.

Irdina : ...

*silence*

Irdina : Fine....

Irdina : It all began 2 years ago, when i met my Mr.Perfect... He were my light, my life and my love.

Psychologist : What do you mean by my 'light', my 'life', and my 'love'?

Irdina : He is my savior.... Well he used too...

Psychologist : Savior?

Irdina : He saved me from my past... Where I always ended up trapped in the past... Until he came...

Psychologist : what about this 'past' that made you so 'trapped' in it?

Irdina : heart broken, betrayal, trust and....

Psychologist : And?

Irdina : Hope... I lost hope.

Psychologist : I see...

Irdina : That is why he mean so much to me. He is everything to me and i am everything to him too.... I mean used too.... We laughs, we cries and we even foughts sometime but those emotions only strengthen our relationship.... Atleast that's what I thought.... After he lay an eye on this so-called his Mrs.Perfect. I was devastated by his sudden changes.... He start to spend less time with me and start to pour more attention towards her.... I was left in the dark, alone and broken.

Psychologist : I hear you... So what happens next?

Irdina : I was weak and all i can do is cried alone, i even started to have doubts with my appearance and personality. "what so great about her? What does she have that i don't have?" those are my thoughts at that time. Until i saw him with.... Her..... "She's fat! She's uglier then me! What does he see in her?! That fat pig can die! That bitch can go hang herself!" is what i said to myself while quietly walk away. "Why do 'I' have to suffer alone? What did 'I' ever do to deserve this?! This is BULLSHIT! THEY DON'T DESERVE HAPPINESS!" i was furious at that time but i did nothing about it...

Psychologist : Okay....

Irdina : I stalk them everyday... Watching them being all lovey dovey, while i was this side character that doesn't even exist! So i thought, if i can't have him... Then no one can!

Psychologist : So you went and kill them?

Irdina : No, I still kept my calm until they went and push my switch... I finally SNAP, the emotions that i have kept to myself finally leaked out, FREE. At first, I was just planning to scared them off but their fearful face and the cries of someone who is begging for their life.... Makes me feel ALIVE.

Psychologist : So you stab her 54 times, burned him alive and continued to rip them apart.

Irdina : *faint smile* I felt relieved and relaxed for the first time in a while.

Psychologist : Thats enough, I'll try to help you miss Irdina.... But you are to far gone.... I can't fix something that is broken in mind and heart. You are broken beyond repair.... But i will help you to recover.

After the psychologist said that.... He left me alone... In the big and quiet room.

Irdina : No one understand me.... No one.... It's always me against the world.