Becoming Triss Fargo

Chapter 1

" Okay Miss Nelson after this round of chemo we'll see if the amount of white blood cells in your blood has changed." Dr. Freedman said to my mother. That simple sentence stucked with me for the rest of my life.

        My mother was diagnosed with  breast cancer when I was just ten years old and she's been fighting for her life for the past two years. Every time we thought it got better it just returned and each time more and more aggressive. I basically watched my mother wither away, shewent from being this thick one with an hour glass shape that she worked hard to regain after having my brother and me. Her hair was a thick  and curly with a dark brown color to it and it reached just under her bra strap.

        Within these two years her hair was was mostly grey, thinned out and the curls were no longer able to form, her complexion was now a pale, faded brown almost ghostly looking. Her lips were cracked and white. Her once hour glass shaped body no longer existed. She was extremely frail, her body looked like a bag of bones. This time I knew something was different, the other times Jayden and I were in here I had hope that my mom will get better and we'll all reunite with her taking care of Jayden and I. My literally looked like she was hanging on for her life by a thread.

        " Jayden, Tristy  I need to talk to you guys for a second" My brother and I walked closer to my mother who looked like life was slowly draining from her as she layed on the hospital bed. I held my eight year old brother's hand and we walked closer to her. I suddenly felt Jayden squeezed my hand as we walked to the bed in what felt like slow motion. I looked down at him and his eyes were filled with water as he shot me the sad puppy eyed look. I embraced his squeezed and whispered in his ear " Don't be afraid, she's still the same ole momma" as I wiped his eyes quickly.

        " Oh baby I don't want you to cry, momma's going to be alright. Just promise me you two would look out for each other and take of each other because you're all you have left" My mother uttered out of the very few breaths she had. My father walked out on us when I was four years old because he found out that momma was pregnant with Jayden and momma refused to have an abortion. I had known my father for just four years of my life and I wished Jayden had the littlest ounce of knowing what it was like to at least have some type of male figure or authority in his life. I just stood there and watched woman I thought was my mother but she didn't look or sound like the woman I knew.

        " Hey sweet boy. Don't you cry for momma. I just want you to be happy, smart and do the best you can in everything you do. You're sensitive and I'm so grateful that I created someone so sweet and intelligent. Make sure you look out for your sister because she's going to need you" My mother continued talking to my brother and telling him how proud she was of him and how grateful she was to have raised such an amazing human being. I stood behind Jayden and stared at the curtain aside the bed as my mind drifted to somewhere else.

 " Triss, Triss, Triss" I heard my mother's voice straining to snap me out of my thoughts. I quickly snapped back into reality. " Come join us, I need to talk to you" My mother stated as she patted the spot next to her on her hospital bed.

        " Yeah mommy?" I said trying to fight back my tears. I knew she wasn't going to make it because she has never given me or Jayden a speech before in all the time we came to the hospital. I walked over and placed myself on the bed next to her.

        " My babygirl, where would I be without you? You've taught me show much. You will always be my bundle of joy. I love you from the bottom of my heart, from here to the moon and back baby. I know this will be hard fro you but be strong for me and take care of Jay. He's all you've got and you're all he's got. Make sure you two stay together and look out for one another." My mother finished talking to me and before I knew it I was hysterically sobbing on the bed next to my dying mother.

" Well, I'm not gon cry, I'm not gon cry

I'm not gon shed no tears

No, I'm not gon cry, it's not the time

'Cuz cancer's not worth my tears"

My mother sang to me to try to ease my mind. It was surprising that her voice sounded pretty good for a woman who went under chemo so many times. My tears slowly stopped flowing down my face. I felt Jayden's hand reached over and gave a caressing touch on my hand and he said

        " I Love you Trissy, but stay strong for me and momma because we need you" Heasring my eight year brother say that to me made me immediately wiped my tears and I held his hand.

" Good girl, now sing with me. Whenever you miss me or feel like you're going to cry sing this song" My mother chimed in as she stroked my long thick straight hair.

" Well, I'm not gon cry, I'm not gon cry

I'm not gon shed no tears

No, I'm not gon cry, it's not the time

'Cuz cancer's not worth my tears" 

I chimed in singing with my mother. Eventually she encouraged Jay to sing along with us. If it was one thing we surely got from our mother was her singing talent. We harmonized and sang the same few lines for as long as I can recall. I didn't know when I fell asleep but I remember being nudged awake. I opened my eyes and saw that it was Dr. Freedman.

        " Trystan, I'm sorry to inform you but your mom passed away late last night. I know you and your brother have no other family which is why I called this lady" He said as he pointed to a tall, thin woman with scruffy yet long blonde hair.

           " Hey, I'm Mrs. Crawford and I'm here to find you and your brother a nice family" She chimed in right after Dr. Freedman finished speaking. I looked behind me to see if Jayden was still sleeping, to my disappointment he was wide awake and he was sobbing into the pillow our mother's head once layed on. Due to his light complexion I was able to see Jayden's red face. I ignored what Mrs. Crawford said to me and walked over to console my brother.

" Jay, you remember the song momma had us sing with her earlier?"

" Yes" He said in between sobs

 " Sing it Jay" I said to him as I wiped away his tears

" Well, I'm not gon cry, I'm not gon cry

I'm not gon shed no tears-"

He started to sing and I caressed his back as I joined him singing

 

"No, I'm not gon cry, it's not the time

'Cuz cancer's not worth my tears"  We continued to sing as Jayden shed what I thought was every ounce of water in his body. He eventually stopped crying and before we know it we were in a car with Mrs. Crawford on our way to God knows where.