Shadows of the Shadow

Hesse's innermost thoughts /

This is the hologram version of me back again with yet another one shot I wrote on my phone. Yeah, so I did an OC-centric story. Don't you want to know what the letter Emily wrote to Hesse was all about? I know I do. Besides, you can't have Undertaker without Hesse and vice versa. They're part of each other. Refer to part 6.
This contains references to genocide, extreme funeral rites, copious amounts of absinthe consumption (kids, don't get wasted), other obscure violent stuff, and humanizing a sadist. ***You have been warned***
Enjoy.

***

The passage of time was meaningless to him, but not her, and not this. The Gray Shadow prepared another glass of absinthe with trembling hands and reseated himself behind the desk bearing the scars of his hatred for everything it symbolized. He spent decades consumed by anguish and despair for what he did to her. Every day he suffered from the unrelenting torment of despair because he chose his survival mechanism of absolute neutrality over his heart. No amount of false self rationalising in the universe would ever free him from the guilt he suffered. Not even his most trusted and faithful subordinate knew about the threat looming over his head if he failed to obey his orders.

/Blackmail has its privileges, doesn't it?/

"I could have freed her, lied, and said that I killed her." He summoned his terrifying battle axe and hurled it at the office wall. "Fuck it! As if anyone would believe me, especially because everyone knows about my damn feelings for her... " The shattered man collapsed into his chair with his head in his hands, unwilling or unable to complete his audible thought. He picked up the letter again and adjusted his glasses in preparation for another round of written torture.

Hesse,

If you're reading this, Stella and I are dead. I know that you are doubting our faith right now, and that's ok; the Goddess is wise and forgiving. Doubt is normal for a man with a shattered heart, but please, please, believe in Her, for She has come. The Conduit is here. Enclosed is only a part of the ancient Prophecy of my people. Take your time to read it.

I'm sorry for lying to all of you, especially Stella. I couldn't bring myself to tell her that Death wasn't a single person she was destined for, but she was so obsessed with the 'pretty one' that I couldn't bring myself to correct her. It would've broken her little hearts. As the years went by, I was even more overwhelmed with work than I ever have been. Then I was roped into the cloning project, so I never got to properly educate her or the other girls, for that matter. I have accepted responsibility for my sins and the fact that I will never see Her Divine Light. Truthfully, I'd rather be in the Void with Marcus and my mate until the End.

Hesse, we've been close friends for almost two centuries. I know that beneath your sadism, you are a good man and always have been. It's a secret I'm taking with me to my grave. I've always wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your frequent visits to my homeworld before the genocide. I remember you telling me that the first visit was a pilgrimage for you; that you were waiting for millennia to achieve this goal. Out of all the beings you've encountered throughout your existence as a god, you've never once harmed, or even thought of harming, any of my people. Do you remember how much the child Rarities loved you, especially little Teresa? She idolized you. She decided to become a warrior because of you, and she persuaded her friends to join her. She never forgot the pleasure you gave her as a woman and always hoped she provided you with the same in equal measure.

The Gray Shadow paused and wiped away nostalgic tears. "I remember Teresa. She was, indeed, very beautiful as a woman. Her hair was the color of the deep blue sea, and her skin was carved from the finest mahogany; my passionflower, Teresa," he murmured. The Councilman laughed as he recalled more fond memories of the little Rarities who loved him. "Those little girls were so clumsy while they were learning their dances. Marcus would have gone rogue just to be with them, even if it was for just one day. Goddess, he was a kid at heart himself." He cleaned off the tearstained lenses of his glasses and resumed reading.