Shattered Sympathy

Chapter 5: I'm Missing Every Part

Can had almost reached the taxi stand when he had finally come to a conclusion. No matter what Tin had said, no matter how strange his behaviour... he couldn't leave him like that. It was irresponsible.

Tin had looked so down, so broken... Can wasn't sure if he wasn't suicidal right now.

It would be irresponsible to leave him alone. And as Mrs Medthanan had kindly reminded him just now... Can was someone who took care of his people. And despite only knowing him for a few hours... Tin was part of his people, and Can would help him.

No matter what.

He turned on his heels and hurried back to the underground parking, hoping, praying that Tin would still be there. That Tin hadn't done anything stupid already.

He could almost have cried out in relief when he reached the corridor and Tin was still sitting where he had left him, crying softly, hands where they were before, covering his face... but he was still there. Can wasn't too late.

"Tin?"

Like before, there was no reaction. But Tin looked even more broken, if that was possible. It hurt, seeing him like that. It hurt so much that Can was almost overwhelmed by it, by the compassion he felt.

Poor guy. Poor Tin. What has the world done to you?

Instead of sitting down like before, Can crouched in front of him and softly put his hand over Tin's. Can perceived that Tin flinched slightly – at least he was aware of his presence.

"Tin," he said again, as carefully as he could, "you have kept your promise to me, let me give you one back: I'll be there for you."

Not entirely unexpectedly, Tin didn't react.

But so far, at least he hadn't pushed the hand away, and Can used that fact to gently run it over his forehead and to brush his fringe hair aside.

"You told me you didn't take the drugs, that you were set up..." a slight shiver from Tin was all that indicated that he was listening, "I believe you. Not just because I'm stupid to believe everyone. I've seen enough tonight to know that what they say about you isn't true."

This got Tin to shift one hand away from his eye, and he tentatively blinked at Can.

"Why?"

"I don't know. I just... I feel like there's more going on. I've seen your brother glare at you... and your mum... she told me... about your grandmother."

"Grandma? But she's dead? Is it about the money? Are you after that?"

Can sighed.

"I'm not after anything, Tin. You don't have to believe me, but I'm really not. Your mum told me that your grandma separated you from her."

"She... did... what?"

To Can, it seemed like Tin had suddenly forgotten that he wanted to be suspicious of him and push him away.

"I think you should talk to your mum. She... Tin, I think she really loves you, but it is all messed up."

"What, did you believe her stories, too?"

"Yours is true, though, isn't it? Why should hers be wrong? I just... I feel like she was right. I don't think you can fake that."

"You can," Tin said bitterly.

Can took a deep breath.

"What makes you think that?"

"Jenny... the girl I thought I liked..." Tin covered his eyes fully again, "she was paid by someone. It was all fake."

This was... whew.

Can couldn't just sit idly by. The realisation, the painfully obvious understanding, how much everything in Tin's life so far seemed to have been a degree of fake... even he, Can... he had been his fake boyfriend... It broke his heart.

It broke his heart so much that he suddenly desperately wanted for something in Tin's life to be real, at least.

"But you are real, Tin. I might only have known you for a few hours, but you have never lied to me. I know. You're so much more real than all of them, and that's not a flaw. It's their fault for being fake, not your fault for believing it. I'm the same, you know. People call me stupid because I believe people easily. But I don't care. I'd rather get hurt by believing someone who is fake, than hurting someone who is real with my suspicion."

The silence of the entire corridor suddenly felt oppressive. So oppressive that Can was almost relieved when Tin's quiet sobs resumed.

He wasn't prepared for Tin to suddenly grab his hand and pull him closer, almost burying himself under Can's body with it, as if he could protect him.

"I'm sorry," Tin said, almost tonelessly, "I'm sorry I doubted you. I want to believe you, too."

Can let him be like that, despite being in a slightly uncomfortable position on top of Tin. He could feel Tin's heartbeat now, so close to him, he could sense how he calmed down, how he got a grip again.

"Let's go," he said, softly.

"My family owns this hotel as well," Tin smiled meekly behind tear-stained eyes, "let's go upstairs and ask for a room. Please... stay with me, Can."

Even after all the strange turns of this evening, Can still hadn't expected this... that he would accompany his fake boyfriend to a hotel room. Can hadn't been surprised to learn that Mrs Medthanan had already told the reception to prepare a room for them – and he hadn't been surprised to find only one bed in the room, either.

They were both standing in front of each other now, in that weird limbo between fake boyfriends and sort of friends. Tin with swollen eyes, Can now visibly exhausted from such a long day.

"What happened with my mother? I just noticed... you didn't tell me."

Can took a deep breath and told him. About her begging him to get married, sort of, to Tin, about her crying against his shoulders... and how she had pleaded with Can to please look after him.

"So... is that why you are here? Because you promised it to her?"

Can shook his head.

"I didn't promise anything to her. I said I'd think about it, because I wanted to ask you for your opinion first."

For a long, dreadful moment, Tin fixed him with his stare, looking into his eyes with a fierce, piercing gaze – it felt like he was looking right into the very core of his being. If Can wasn't so sure about who he was, he might have shivered and recoiled. But so... he didn't.

And Tin... he suddenly stepped towards him, Can half expected him to brush past him and storm out of the room... instead, he encased him into a tight hug.

"Don't leave me... please."

"I won't."