PURE LOVE

Give Up Part 1

 I was out of mind, how I conveyed my feeling to someone who had taken my time and attention. Really the love and desire to be with him has drained my energy. Every move and activity I follow and comment on but that does not guarantee I can talk and meet directly with him.

This feeling is only me who feels it really wants to feel crazy but that's how love is all about all the social media related to him I follow, only seen and read without comment, annoyed and angry.

Until one day I used the correspondence line, which I started with the first letter and continued, whether or not what letter he had replied to. And a few days ago I sent a letter with the phrase "I don't know what my letter is, but what I know is that this might be my last letter, when I wrote this my condition began to be fragile and sick because I was disappointed with myself trying so hard to meet you, and I am sick, very sick because I have to insist on myself to keep this love so that when it's time this love becomes beautiful when I tell you. Where for a long time I did correspondence with you and there is absolutely no meaning to me, only one that I must tell you that my love for you will always be eternal in me until I bring it to death together. I thank you if you want to read it, or you only see the cover of this letter and you throw it away. It's a shame if you knew my love for you, you couldn't feel the same as another love, because my sacrifice to reach you was beyond measure; now cheer yourself up because I won't bother you anymore, goodbye baby "

Repeatedly I read the sentence and rushed me to send it, I had no hope there was a reply, because I knew my love for him was in vain, which had made me suffer. The day I passed feeling bored and bored until I fell ill with a yellowing body said the doctor I got an acute typing too tired so I had to bed rest for a month and two months I don't know.

In such conditions, the best friend is entertaining oneself trying to be friends or trying more religiously, it turns out that the situation is even worse for my health that I have to be hospitalized, I refuse because I will not recover instead I get worse, the family agrees. So that my treatment is done at home, my room will turn into a hospital. Every child and other siblings say no need to expect what is not there and why do you have to torture yourself or not you know where you are, if I think it's good to think positively so that the disease disappears, I'm just really right but conditions This is how I said, so slowly, hopefully there will be a blessing from God for you.

Anyway, I am a career woman since the age of 39 years have lived alone with four sons and daughters who are very mature and independent, only the youngest are still undergoing education at the university, now my age is already head of five. My solitude is not due to divorce but he has gone before me. In the beginning, I was very bad for this loss, with time running since he was 19 years old I was still alone. For some reason, beginning in the year 20, I suddenly felt lonely there was no one to talk to, there was nothing I could share with someone who was special to me dear, I love; every time I return from work activities I always spend the afternoon or evening I just come home, arriving at rest I always cry and I spend the morning browsing until I'm tired. From there I saw someone and I felt that there were difficult feelings I told him so I always wanted to see him and hoped he could know I was a woman who really liked him. That's the beginning why I always comment and like in each post.

I was given a lot of books because I really like to read but miss reading so much that late at night if it hasn't finished, it doesn't stop until my health goes down instead of recovering, until the word of the mother doctor is not relax and exhausted my mother must sleep much like this later you know it collapses you know mom. Yes, my mind doctor, indeed my messy eyes are not rich, do not mind I must be like the one who was always optimistic and always look at the future.

Without feeling it had been three months, I was bed rest, the day was a bit dark, it seemed like I wanted heavy rain I told my brother who was always waiting for me, yeah he said you don't want to look around while the air is not too hot, later I say still dinfusion tired times I said again, my eyes closed to try to sleep while thinking enough was God Yes I want to be healthy, I want to forget give me the love that I am able to bring and make me happy aamiin.