The Monster You Made

CHAPTER ONE: AFTER

The pillow beneath my head is comfortable, I roll my head to the side and yawn keeping my eyes closed. Just as I begin to stretch the feeling of something hard pressed against my skin makes my eyes open. A white cast covers my left arm, there is already a small drawing at the top near my elbow; a rose. My mom must have drawn it while I was asleep.

Memories fill my head but I quickly throw them aside, 'It was a dream' I tell myself. Crisp white lights blast in my eyes and I sit up trying to adjust to the lights.

"Spencer?" Mom grabs my hand and leans her head over my chest, I can hear her sobbing. My hand meets her soft hair and strokes it, my mom never cries.

Mom looks up at me and her eyes fill with happiness, "Oh my baby," she kisses my forehead, I can feel a bruise above my eyebrow. "Spencer you're okay. I promise you're okay."

"Are you going to tell me what happened?"

Her fingers comb my hair and I feel her hands stop short. It's gone; most of my hair is gone. The ends are cut blunt and unevenly. "I'm going to go get the nurse baby, I'll be right back." She climbs up and scurries out of the room. Why does she still call me baby?

I sit up, that was more painful than sitting up has ever been before. My hand still aches, but a needle is pushed deep into the skin on my other arm. My eyes follow the tubes up, I'm hooked to a few different bags. The room is filled with flowers and cards, but my eyes catch a clipboard hanging at the end of my bed. I lean over to grab it, I feel something tear on my back. Each page is a shade of off-white and there are three different sets of handwriting, I recognize one as my mom writing down my details.

Spencer Tomas. 22 years old, born June 23rd, 1997. Blood type: B-. Allergies: N/A.

Blue ink smears the page, someone was in a hurry to write this. 22 year old female victim, delivered to EMERGENCY at 11:36 pm by SECURITY GUARD. Victim of assault; rape. Left arm broken, stitches need for wounds on the back, legs, the genital area from tearing.

Rape. Did that chart just say rape? I read it again, scanning each hard to read words again. No, it is obviously meant to be something else, not rape. I blink my eyes again to stop the burning and shake my head trying to lose the visions in my head. No, it's not possible.

"What are you doing?" she storms over and rips the chart out of my hand, her nurses uniform reeks of vomit, she's clearly been having a bad day.

"Spencer, what did you see?"

A tear falls down my cheek and I hang my head in shame, "Was- was I raped mom?" the crack in her voice tells me the only answer I needed to hear. I break down, tears streaming from my eyes and wails coming from my mouth. As if a snake is curling itself around me my chest begins to tighten and I lose my breath. Each beat of my chest gets harder and harder against my rib cage. The nurse holds my hand and mom hugs me tight. I feel woozy again; I look over at the nurse playing with buttons on the machine. Everything goes dark.

When I wake up there's only a dull light filling the room. The chair is pushed right up to the bed and mom is asleep, her head draped over my arm still holding my hand. My thumb strokes her finger softly. As I do that another sound grabs my attention, in the corner of the room is a shadow, it's hard to make out. I focus my eyes on the shape and the silhouette of a person comes into focus, I scream, loudly.

"Spence, it's me, Paige!" The silhouette leaps forward and touches my leg; I can see her red hair in the light now. Mom wakes up with a startle almost leaping over me, talk about motherly protection. "I'm sorry. Mom called me; I flew straight in from Seattle."