The darkness is pressing in on me. It's suffocating. I try to see something, try to let my eyes adjust but it's all just empty. I turn from side to side trying to see something, trying to feel some sense of direction. But there is nothing. It's becoming quieter. The sounds of the busy city beyond the confinements of the darkness that had captured me slowly fading away. I fall to my knees, feeling insecure being stood so tall in the darkness and reach out for something, anything. I settle for the floor below my knees. It is cold and hard but it gives me a form of safety. Instead of simply feeling like I am nowhere. But I am nowhere. I am completely lost. And confused. Everything about this confuses me. I was fine one minute and now there is nothing. No sound. No sight. I can still feel though. But even that is slipping. I can feel my grip on the gravel below me becoming less real. I can hardly feel the floor through my torn jeans. I am sure that I will soon fall out of reality into an unknown world.
Suuddenly a pair of arms find their way around my torso. They wipe my face and now I can feel that their hands are wet. Had I been crying? Had I been that lost and confused that I had shed the tears that I had tried for so long to hold in? But I had no idea who was holding me. I didn't know anyone. No one. No one that would be here. I lived on my own. I worked on my own. I hardly left my house. Well, that's because of time's like this when things tumble down into that spiral of darkness. I feel my senses begin to come back slowly. First comes touch. I can feel a pair of strong arms carrying me. Then I feel a soft mattress below me. The stranger's arms leave my body and I become small with the loss of contact. But they are soon back around me, still wiping my face. And now I can hear things. Just small whispers and tiny sobs. The sobs become louder and I want to help the person. I want to hold them tight and never let them cry so painfully again.
But then I realise, it's me. Those sobs belong to me. And I cry louder at this realisation. The stranger hushes me, stroking my cheek delicately as though I will break at any moment. As though I will crumble to pieces if they let me go, if they weren't holding me together. And if I'm honest, I probably would. So I tried to even my breathing and just listen to the soothing voice of the stranger who whispered kind words into my ear and held me even closer. And I began to feel better. The darkness began to fade away and I could see light. Images and faces became clearer. I could now see the figure who was holding me so tightly. I felt the corners of my mouth twitch up into a smile (an unfamiliar feeling to me) at the stranger.
But that didn't happen. None of it. I was still left in the darkness to fend for myself or to find someone to save me. I was still blinded. I was still gripping to the hard concrete for dear life just hoping that it too would not slip away. That it would support me for a little while longer. But I could feel it slipping from beneath me. I could feel my hands relaxing, losing their grip on the surface. Slowly fading away into oblivion.
