My life isn't great but I'm ok with that

Who am I exactly?

Ok wow just a minor warning ... Again this isn't a story :O well.... Never mind I take that back

•This is my day by day diary •

My words, my thoughts, my feelings

If you don't like it, please don't comment rudely~ I don't think that would be necessary

~ Thank you

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WHO AM I EXACTLY?

^- good question.

Well if you must know- my name is Carolyn. And I'm seventeen years old.

Honestly, There's not much to say about me :/ I guess I can say I'm a narcissistic nerd with a pinch of attitude.

~Interesting combination, right? I couldn't agree more.

I keep to myself, but if someone thinks or even attempts to walk all over me, they got another thing commin

Yes I'm smart, but that doesn't give you an excuse to be a complete ass to me

But anyways lets seeee: oh what I look like! Hmm well how about you just imagine my appearance yourself :)

Skipping the description of what I look like (because why would you need to know that? I Mean imagine me anyway you like! it's not like I'm gonna stop you for imagining a godly looking babe or a creepy looking glasses girl)

I'm:

-5'1/2 ft tall

-Dark brown hair (medium length)

-Average looking body

-I have black glasses: definitely necessary for my terrible eye sight!

-Olive skin tone

- I'm BRAZILIAN - so that should explain how I may sound with my accent, it's not strong but it's there

Annnnnnd lastly

im A Junior in High School

Oh and before I forget!!!!

I'm fake :)

I never actually shown my true self to anyone .... I always that you should put others before yourself and I always followed that rule but not because our of politeness but out of fear of acceptance ....

Carrying on---->

Let's list the typical stuff every(some) teenagers goes through in HighSchool

-acceptance

-respected by others

-ignored

-judgment

-loved by that significant other

-drama

-stress

-Etc...( got anything else to add? :) please comment I would gladly add it too the list)

Because I've gone through all that, not gonna lie.

I go through the typical HighSchool drama every day. 5 days a week, 7:15am- 2:20pm

Some people see school as just being a pain in the ass but to me it's my scapegoat from home .... From my own family

I would do anything to stay away from my own house

Now don't get any ideas:

my Mother is strict as hell( that's what I get for having a BRAZILIAN mother)

Physically

Mentally

Emotionally

.... She knows how to hurt me but I don't cry

WHO AM I EXACTLY?

well I'm a girl who pretends that everything is going to be ok even though it's not. I put my mask on everyday for the past 4 years of my life. I even forget to take it off....

Can you even imagine not even knowing when you're being honest with yourself?

It's hard

But I put the smile on my face for not just others but for myself ...because I'm always scared

Scared to voice my pain

To say my thoughts

To yell out my feelings

To cry my heart out

My name is Carolyn And I'm completely fake

From my personality to my appearance

And I want to change .

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Thanks for reading

Tell me what you think