Right By Your Side ~ Larry Stylinson

Chapter 13: I'll fight

"But if you ever fall down, straight to the bottom
And you can't get back where you started
With no strength to stand, I'm gonna reach for your hand
When the going gets rough, right when it's hurting
I'll be there to help bear the burden
Any place any time, you gotta know for you I'll fight"
Daughtry

"Stop looking at me like I'm going to break Haz – I'm fine!" Louis insisted in a deliberately light voice. He continued making their tea as Harry hovered over him in the kitchen of Louis' place. Harry had just asked him, as he had every evening that week, if he was OK.

"I just want to make sure you're alright, Lou – I mean, you'd tell me, wouldn't you, if you weren't coping? Or if, like, you hated it?" Harry replied.

Louis sighed. He knew Harry was worried – and he wasn't alone, Louis was worried too. But he was trying desperately to put on a brave face for Harry, trying not to let him down.

The problem was, it had been almost a week of working with Ian and he'd made no progress at all.

Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

It all just felt wrong – had felt wrong from the outset, and it wasn't getting any better. He was feeling anxious all the time and his interactions with Ian always seemed stiff and awkward, no matter how hard they both tried to make it work. He was struggling to build the same trust he had with Harry – but that was to be expected considering the nature of his relationship with Harry.

It wasn't anything Ian had done – he had tried very hard to help Louis adjust. It's just that, well, he wasn't Harry. He wasn't what Louis was used to, what he responded to. They had very different styles of treatment – from the way they spoke, to the pace they wanted to work at and even the approach they used. Ian was much more clinical and reserved than Harry was.

This was probably due to the fact that Harry was used to dealing with children, meaning he was softer, more patient and more about working intuitively. Ian, on the other hand, was used to treating adults, so he was a little harder, pushed a little more and liked working to a schedule. While he was a genuinely nice person, there were no soft words or reassuring touches like Louis had from Harry, and however inappropriate they had been, those words and touches had made Louis feel completely safe in Harry's care.

Such a change in technique and approach had left Louis reeling and feeling disoriented, filled with uncertainty. When he coupled that with the emotional turmoil of trying to figure out what was going to happen between him and Harry, he had felt completely drained all week. He'd spoken to Megan about it in their sessions, and she had told him it was natural to take some time to get used to a new therapist and to give it a little time, so he threw those words out to Harry now, hoping to soothe his concern.

"Of course I'd tell you, but I'm fine! It was bound to take a little time to get used to a new therapist and let's face it – he's a lot less hands on than you were!" He grinned at Harry, waggling his eyebrows playfully.

Harry gave him a small smile and rolled his eyes. He was pretty sure Louis was just brushing him off and trying not to make a big deal out of things, so he wouldn't worry. But Harry was worried. He had been watching the sessions with growing concern and could tell just by Louis' body language that he wasn't bonding with Ian. He could also tell that it was mutual – Ian wasn't reading Louis correctly, even though he was trying hard. They both were.

Louis could see Harry's mind ticking over as he chewed on his bottom lip, so he walked over and slid his arms around Harry's neck.

"It'll be fine love" he told Harry, leaning up to kiss him and wondering if there'd ever be a time when just a simple kiss from Harry wouldn't send a shiver down his spine. He thought perhaps not, as he looked into lovely green eyes that were way too perceptive.