Don't Fear The Unknown

Solutions

"Jude?"

She hadn't moved, nor spoken. But she wasn't crying he could tell. "Jude? Is everything alright?" Timothy turned her and was surprised by her shocked look. "Do you... do you really mean it?" A silent tear fell down her cheek and he whipped it away before taking her face in his hands.

"I meant every single word. I love you and I know you will have to give up everything you worked for the past 20 years. But I'm offering you a lifetime together. I'm aware that I can't just take any woman inside this house to fool around with, for the sake of the kids. You're the only one I want to be with and if you have the same feelings for me, I want us to be a family."

Her tears fell in earnest now, all the pain, heartache, pressure and insecurity fell away and suddenly she felt tired, she wasn't supposed to suppress her feelings anymore. "Do you want that too Jude?"

She nodded under her tears. "Yes, yes I want that too." Both laughed at each other but neither dared to move. "What are we going to do now?" Jude wanted to leave St. Andrew's immediately but didn't know how to proceed. "Well, I thought about kissing." Timothy was clueless about what Jude had meant and as she started to laugh wholeheartedly, he knew he misinterpreted something. "Yes that too but what about the church. I can't just stay away."

Easy enough. "Well, we're going to kiss, you're driving back to the convent and tomorrow you will talk with Mother Claudia. Afterwards you will pack your things and then we're going to dine together as a family." A good and well thought plan.

Jude rolled her eyes, it was a typical male point of view. "So you think I should tell her the whole truth? What about our reputation?" Timothy chuckled about her fear. "Just be honest, I don't care about a reputation. I want to be happy, I want happy children and I want a very happy and satisfied wife." Only that he'd do learn how to satisfy her.

Jude's cheeks turned red, she hadn't thought about that during the entire conversation and the whole situation began to settle. A family, children and husband, a house and the rest of their life together and sex.

The mere thought of her fantasies finally fulfilled made her cry happy tears. "I can't believe this is happening..." Again, Timothy took her face. "Let's seal the deal with a kiss." And so they did. It was a light brush at first but as Jude stepped closer he embraced her. Jude deepened the kiss, fully aware that he might not know how to and she was regarded with a moan. It was their first first and soon others would follow. Their bodies brushed against each other and his fingers tangled in her wonderful smooth hair.

As his body reacted to their closeness, Timothy stopped. "I'm sorry, it's just that I would want to wait. I know you're the one but I'd hoped it would happen during our honeymoon." Jude just smiled against his lips, already satisfied with kissing, at least for the moment. He was such a gentleman and good christian, she could wait a little longer. "That's quite alright Timothy."

...

Weeks went by and all four were living blissfully together. The date for the wedding was set for spring and at the end of summer, Timothy didn't know how to cope with the tension.

They'd agreed to sleep separately which made parting at night difficult. The longer they lived together the closer they got. Timothy's patience started to fade, Jude was definitely a temptress. Of course it was as hot as it was supposed to be at this time of the year but whether it was his imagination or Jude's doing but her dresses seemed to become shorter, thinner and tighter.

Deep inside he knew it was his mind playing tricks. He regretted his decision but was unwilling to give in. His whole life he's been told that it was supposed to happen after marriage and since he knew Jude was the one and only, he still preferred to wait. It was just getting harder, everything for that matter.

How he longed to touch her, not just her back or face but the slightest intimate contact of skin would fuel his fantasies a while longer. Now, all he could do was praying, as every night before bedtime for the adults. Usually they checked on the kids and went back into the living room, watching tv, carefully avoiding to touch each other on the spacious sofa, his bed.

The tension was palpable and they avoided eye contact, afraid to see the same longing. Jude was just marvelous, respecting his wish and kept her distance. But he felt how difficult it was even for her and unfortunately he had to hide his physical reaction to their closeness, knowing that she knew his secret.

This night was no exception and Timothy wanted to collect himself away from her and chose to leave using chivalry. "Do you want something to drink? Its quit hot, I should get some water." Pathetic but a good enough excuse. As he slipped passed Jude, still reclining comfortably on the sofa, she held his wrist, stopping his movement.

"I'm not thirsty, at least not for water." At his confused look, she let her free hand slip down his front from stomach to crotch. His intention to "cool" down forgotten by her insistent touch and his resistance whipped away by the overwhelming feeling. "I honor your decision and patience but I would like to explore a new territory. I promise, you won't loose your virtue."

For him, sex was sex and he didn't know what she was talking about. "B-but what do you want to do?" The concept was easy enough, a man and a woman, husband and wife sharing the most intimate and fulfilling experience. He should've listened to crazy Shelley and he wouldn't be so clueless since he couldn't figure out what Jude's intentions were.

"I want to help you to relieve some tension." These past weeks hadn't just been torture to him but Jude was also suffering from the lack of a physical relationship. They'd agreed on a spring wedding due to the organisation and weather but she was also regretting setting such a late date.

Her hands were moving lightly against his pyjama pants, both already dressed for the night. He'd enough time to stop her if he wanted to but confusion and curiosity froze his body and he was waiting anxiously what she might do.

The stiff material slipped down his legs and Jude's eyes started to shine with approval and anticipation. Timothy observed her from above, too shocked to move and still curious about her intentions. She licked her lips lightly and kissed his already dripping head. Now he could imagine what she wanted, just that he'd never imagined that. Heard about yes, thought about no. Assuming it might have been a myth.

As she started to lick it's underside until she reached his head, a moan left Timothy's lips, urging Jude on to continue. She wanted to go slow, showing him how pleasurable sin could be without taking the last step. As she took him fully inside, his hand started to stroke her soft hair and massaging her scalp.

He watched how his flesh disappeared inside her mouth and he wished he could compensate her for this selfless and entirely enjoyable experience. Jude caressed his hips and lower stomach which increased his pleasure and soon he was feeling what he'd denied himself. At this point stopping wasn't possible and as his body shook, he hoped Jude would move but she stayed and swallowed what he'd to offer.

Opening his eyes, he didn't know he'd closed, he looked down and was mesmerized at how beautiful this sin could look. Jude smiled up at him and cleaned her mouth lightly, not the least bothered about the dirty act. But it didn't feel dirty at all, just blissfully satisfying and his love got confirmed that she would share such an intimate moment.

Loss for words, he covered himself and knelt down to kiss her, totally enamored by the circumstances. "Thank you, that was, I don't know, just wow." Jude laughed and kissed him again. "I'd hoped you would enjoy it." Timothy deepened the kiss and drew her closer, still amazed at how natural it all felt but stopped as he felt the urge to laugh. "What is it?" Confusion evident on her face and tone. "Now I understand. You weren't thirsty for water but for.... you know." Unable to speak about it loudly, he just motioned to his crotch.

"Yes, I just had a certain craving." Her seductive smile blew him away and he instantly knew, he really was damned... until spring.