breaking the silence

seventeen

"It was... okay. The date was okay."

Maya's brows drew near. It was unlike Riley to be so close mouthed. "Is that all you have to say about it?"

"Well, yeah." Riley pursed her lips. "It was super weird and awkward."

"Your first date with Lucas was weird and awkward."

"But this was weird and awkward in a different way. Like I was trying so hard to talk about things but he just seemed so... uninterested."

"Maybe he's more of a listener?"

Riley sighed. "Either way, we just didn't click."

"That's alright." Maya shrugged, placing a hand on Riley's knee, smiling softly. "At least you put yourself out there."

"I should not have broken up with Lucas." Riley said. She paused thoughtfully, staring at the floor. "Our relationship was good. It was fine. Why are things never enough for me sometimes? I... I want him back."

Maya's hand slowly fell from her knee, memories from last night resurfacing in her mind. The colour drained from her face. She felt like she was going to be sick. What kind of a friend was she?

"Riles. I - I need to tell you something."

"What is it?" Riley's eyes lit up, as if she was expecting some good news.

"Missy and I went on this double date... last night."

Riley tilted her head, her face twisting in bemusement. "Oh. Why didn't you say anything about it?"

"I - I didn't know we were going until I went over to Missy's." Maya shook her head.  "Anyway, that's besides the point. Lucas was there on the date... with Rebecca Wiebe."

"R - Rebecca?" Riley's lips turned down. "But why her?"

Maya had no idea how she was even going to mention the next part. Riley was going to be truly heartbroken.

Maya nodded. She wrung her hands together, a subconcious action. "The thing is..."

She froze, speechless. Maya slowly realized that if she were to tell Riley about how she and Lucas had held hands last night, she would have to tell her everything. Starting from the parking lot, before that even. It was all incredibly complicated. She had hidden a great deal from Riley.

"Maya?" Riley urged her to continue when she wasn't saying anything else.

"Um... the thing is..."

"Girls," Topanga burst through the door, grabbing both of their attention. "Come out now, breakfast is ready."

Riley smiled and stood up from the bay window, holding out her hand for Maya to take. "You can tell me later?"

Maya stayed in her seat before apprehensively taking Riley's hand. "Yeah," she grinned.

A wave of relief washed over her, though the feeling was very brief. Maya knew the secret had to come out sometime. She was repulsed by herself and how completely disloyal she had been to her own best friend. Maya wouldn't even be surprised if Riley ended up hating her after all of this.

.

.

.

The very thing Maya had decided to keep buried had come back to haunt her.

It was one of those days where Maya was just stuck in her own head, her thoughts plaguing her and making it difficult to focus in academics. Her English teacher had noticed and pulled her aside after class.