English
                              
                              Like everyone around me,
                              sitting in this blasted classroom,
                              watching--
                              waiting.
                              For anything.
                              Any excitement,
                              movement,
                              simply to be disappointed,
                              time after time again.
                              I'm just like them.
                              Before us stood a brave young man--
                              yet dumb as they come.
                              Working hard to finish school,
                              only to return. 
                              If I were him,
                              as soon as I got out of this hellhole,
                              I'd run far--
                              just to be sure--
                              that it'd never see my rear end again.
                              Despite his efforts,
                              I,
                              and everyone else,
                              thought back to our childhoods.
                              Not more than fourteen,
                              and already longing 
                              for a second youth.
                              For the easiness 
                              of the beginning of it all.
                              Like everyone else,
                              I put my head down.
                              Pressing it to the desk--
                              masking the tears
                              that swelled up
                              for no reason.
                              "Miss Carrie!" irritated, he snapped.
                              I lifted my head.
                              Slowly.
                              Blinking.
                              Hiding it all.
                              I looked at him,
                              hoping he didn't see.
                              "Pay attention!" was all he said.
                              I wanted to roll my eyes--
                              so pathetically blind.
                              But then again...
                              maybe he did know.
                              Everyone felt this.
                              I wasn't special.
                              No reason to notice.
                              
                              
                              Smile
                              
                              My memory is--
                              was--
                              amazing.
                              I'd remember
                              birthdays,
                              anniversaries,
                              school events.
                              Everything no one else wanted to.
                              And everything
                              no one else could.
                              I remembered how
                                      
                                   
                                              
                                           
                                               
                                                  