The Blue Phoenix

Mourning Together

Today was not a good day.

First, Akashi's father ordered him to go to Tokyo to observe some of the executives of their company in a meeting, even though it's in the anniversary. He had to go visit a shrine to pray for Kuroko's soul after listening to soulless corporate monsters drone on about taxes.

Then, on one of his only off-days, he was rudely awoken by Kise spamming their groupchat with muddled, error-filled messages, and then Aomine had the gall to be able to correctly translate them before Akashi could even wrap his head around them. He'd come a long way from his mental breakdown during his first year in high school, but the little things that slipped away from him still irked.

Then, when Akashi was a little more awake, he almost had a heart attack.

Kuroko was alive? And even more, he was perfectly fine in America, like he didn't even care. After two years, Kuroko's first contact was with Kise. After two years of nothing but unconnecting calls, desperate searching, and mournful crying, this was how he chose to show up?

No. Akashi refused. How can he take this?

But, some small, tiny part of himself is screaming to take this chance. Take it and run.
It's illogical and irrational.

Seirin and the Generation of Miracles searched high and low, but their unassuming shadow was nowhere to be found. Even Akashi, with his father's financial backing and all the sycophants under his thumb, couldn't find the faintest whiff. It was humiliating that Akashi's one thousand eyes and ten thousand ears couldn't find him. Couldn't even find a trail. And the old magazines and haunting posters of "The Awe-Striking Generation of Miracles!" were sure to rub his failures back in his face.

But worser than the shame was the crushing loss.

Men of the Akashi family do not lose. They so rarely find themselves with the short end of the stick and floundering. Maybe that's why, when misfortune strikes, they flounder twice as hard.

Akashi will be the first to admit he was a mess. He found himself forgetting to eat properly, train properly, and he'd doze off during the practices he should've been leading.

"Sei-chan! Take a break!" Mibuchi-san would shout and guide Akashi to a bench. Like a frail, feeble old man. Like he was weak. "You've had a stressful few weeks! We don't mind if you take a few days off. Losing a close loved-one is hard, and you should prioritize your health over basketball."

But it tasted like bitter defeat to stop everything to look for Kuroko. How can Akashi handle life if he can't handle one of his friends missing? It was a failure. Akashi was a failure.

And after a year, Kuroko's case was officially closed.

Things got hard. It was hard to think, to move, to function like a normal human being. He knew that the Miracles struggled, but none of them stuttered then stopped then shut down like he did. None of them needed to be dragged out of bed each morning. None of them had to be practically force-fed and bullied into taking care of themselves. None of them were as incompetent as Akashi.

So no. Akashi was not going to believe this. He was not going to build up his expectantions- only to have them shot right back down. Whoever this man was? However he found out about Kuroko? It doesn't matter. Kuroko is gone, and that is that.

He doens't- Kuroko doesn't just get to do that. He can't just pull up- out of nowhere, smiling his little smile and saying his little sayings and expect Akashi to just welcome him back. After all their mourning and sobbing and no-sleep nights.