Okay, so once upon a time I was casually talking with my boyfriend when I casually shouted out something about Wonderwall being stuck in my head for over 24 hours. Trust me, although there's certainly way worse songs that could be hooked into your noodle, having any song stuck in your head is kind of unpleasant.
Basically, this led to an idea about Liam Gallagher taking up permanent residence in my brain to sInG fOr AlL eTeRniTy.
So, this happened. This is my life, y'all. Enjoy the crackfic.
God.... I ducking miss crack fics. _________ Once upon a time, there was a girl named Ebony Raven Dementia Way.
Wait.... wrong story, whoops.
*invisible narrator flips through stack of books*
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Vanille (Nameberry says that's a thing therefore it is).
This girl was gorgeous AF. Like, we are talking beautiful blonde hair down to her hips, tall, skinny, huge bloobs, emerald green eyes.
10/10 would S M A S H
No homo, tho.
*short break for the administration of this fanfic to rebuke the writer for unnecessary details of gayness. Then again, this is fan fiction. What'd you expect?*
Back to Vanille.
Vanille loved painting her nails, doing her makeup, doing her hair, watching the Kardashians, and looking at pictures in fashion magazines.
Reading would obvi be way too much effort.
Every once in a while she loved listening to her favorite music: Ariana Grande Macchiato, Taylor Swiffer Wetjet, and top 40.
Her sister, on the other hand, was ugly. She had shoulder length brown hair with some dorky ass bangs, hazel (idk) eyes, and pale skin.
*the administration again rebukes the writer for not only the gayness but now also a writer insert, and a self deprecating one at that*
Anyways, the sister, or Violet as her parents named her, loved Indie rock.
NEVER TRUST AN INDIE GIRL, OBVI. DO NOT LET THEIR CUTE FLANNELS DISTRACT YOU FROM THE TRUTH.
Viper was listening to some shitty ass band, Oasis, without headphones one day.
Unfortunately for Vanille, she could hear all of their Supersonic sounds reaching her bedroom. Just as Vanille realized what was happening, Violet shouted to her sister, "Hey, don't look back in anger! Don't go away!"
"Fuck you!" Vanille shouted back in an oddly Gallagher-like fashion. However, the damage was already beginning to be done, or so Vanille realized.
The song, Wonderwall, was being FUCKING BLASTED. Vanille didn't quite know how to respond, especially considering the fact she rarely listened to music of that caliber of quality. She also realized that slowly but surely, it was getting into her head.
"I'm sure I'll be fine...," Vanille sighed. "I'll wake up tomorrow morning and I'll forget all about this."
However, the next morning when Vanille woke up, the sounds of the Gallagher brothers were far from gone. Instead, she saw their two beautiful faces greeting her first thing:
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And also the both of them were only about two inches tall.
"I AM THREE CENTIMETERS TALL, YOU FUCKING CUNT!!!!" Noel Gallagher shouted sweetly.
"NO, I AM THREE AND A QUARTER CENTIMETERS!! Therefore, I'm better!!" Liam shouted back before kicking his beloved brother's nutsack.
As Noel wept and held his sac tenderly, Liam began speaking again, "So, we heard that you heard Wonderwall for the first time yesterday?"
"Yeah, that would be correct," Vanille responded while twisting her blonde locks in her fingers. "It's been stuck in my head since then."
Both brothers cackled maniacally and said in perfect unison, "OUR PLAN FOR TOTAL MUSICAL DOMINATION IS WORKING!!"
"Um, cool," Vanille said. "I'm confuzzled."
"'Scuse me, you skirt," Noel said, his bushy brows twitching sexily, "The plan is to completely take over the world by getting our #1 hit song permanently stuck into the world's collective conscious."
"Cool," Vanille responded.
"So, if you don't mind, my brother and I are going to be sitting in your shoulders from now until eternity, in essence. We promise to only get in one fight every 10 minutes."
"That's a serious improvement," Noel signed.
"Remember the good old days when we couldn't be in the same room together?"
"Oh, those were the good days... Want to bring those back?"
"FUCK YOU YOU ASSHAT BUTTFUCKING TWAT WAFFLE!!!" Liam yodeled before grabbing a baseball bat and clocking his brother over the head with it. He then began to sing:
And all the roads we have to walk are winding And all the lights that lead us there are blinding There are many things that I Would like to say to you but I don't know how Because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me And after all, you're my wonderwall
Noel sniffed, "That's beautiful...." before punching his brother multiple times while he sang.
The two brothers leapt up onto Vanille's right shoulder while continuing to seriously abuse each other.
And so, that is how a teenager girl ended up having miniature versions of the Gallagher brothers permanently attached to her who would constantly either sing their music and/or beat the living shit out of each other.
Fin.
_____ So, this is clearly the end of this story, but I feel like I might want to write some more weird ass cuckoldry for this here book👌👌
