Bitter Heart √

Forty Two

Skylar's POV

As much as I loathed the thought of going to school the next day, I did have to go. Mainly because Mom and Dad came over. And even though I wanted to stay and spend some time with them, I didn't want to make things awkward between us--especially since the last time they came back home, things hadn't gone well.

So I took the bus again.

"Hey," I spoke up softly as I sat down beside Hanna. Mrs Jackson was a bit late and the classroom wasn't yet brimming with the usual morning chatters. I usually nagged Alex one way or another during this little free time. But Alex wasn't here. I hadn't seen him even once in school today. And I wasn't sure if that made me feel relieved, angry, or just sad.

Not angry, I told myself. I didn't think I was angry at him. I was angry last night, yes. I was furious this morning too. But the sad, gutting feeling won. Because I was more upset than I was angry. Had our friendship meant nothing to Alex?

"Hi." She replied, facing me with a small smile. It was the concerned look on her face that made me unable to speak or do anything else. I just stuck with placing my textbook in front of me, avoiding her gaze, and waiting for her to speak up the obvious question. 

"Did you see Alex anywhere?" She asked after a while.

I blinked twice and felt my throat closing up anxiously. My eyelids felt heavy. Maybe because of the way I had bawled out yesterday, or maybe that was just a consequence of the restless night I'd had.

"No," I whispered, before glancing at her. "Did you?"

Had Alex told her about him being in a gang? Had he been lying all this time about his feelings for Hanna?

"No. But I thought you might know." She looked confused now. "I didn't hear from him since..."

I couldn't help but feel guilty then. Hanna must've been looking forward to this date. Maybe she really liked Alex too. And maybe, just maybe I should've just kept my mouth shut about that gun when I'd come across it. Last night could've gone so much better than it actually had. But, I thought, how could I have acted all fine throughout that dinner date without bringing up the elephant in the room?

"We sort of had a fight," I told Hanna. She deserved something, even if I couldn't tell her everything. I would've wanted a reason too if my date suddenly ditched on me like that. "I was gonna come with him actually. The double date, you know."

"But?" Her voice sounded so small.

I curled and uncurled my fingers and kept my gaze trained on them. How could I have reassured her when I wasn't at all sure about Alex anymore?

"This fight happened and I left." I continued. "I haven't seen or talked to him since."

Not after Caden took me away.

"Oh." Was her reply. She looked down at her lap. "I thought he was looking forward to that date."

I felt awful. "I'm so sorry, Hanna." I blurted out, furrowing my brows. "It wasn't his--I...I'm sure he'd contact you soon, if not me."

She gave me another small smile. I didn't return it. I couldn't have. "It's all right. I think I shouldn't have--" She didn't get to complete the sentence when Mrs Jackson came in. And after that, we pretty much dropped the whole topic. I think neither of us was eager to talk about it.