Miss Pen

Chapter Nineteen

Don't just keep your mouth shut, say something! This is what you both wanted, right?

Now that I was standing before the man I'd previously schemed to get the attention of, I didn't know what to do. He looked furious and confused, yet hurt all at the same time. I wasn't sure how I appeared in his eyes, but on the inside I was filled with regret, trying to push the feeling away.

"Are you cold? I would give you my jacket if I brought it out with me."

No, he did not get to be all sweet and caring now. He led me outside - in the cold, let's not forget - at night, while the chilly, autumn weather was in effect. In other words, I wanted him to get to the point.

"I'm fine. Let's just get on with what you wanted to talk about."

Truthfully, I wasn't fine as we stood along the side of Tito's, both leaned against the brick wall. I lied about how I felt to hurry along the conversation while my nerves ate me alive, my stomach in knots while waiting for him to speak.

Oh my god, why can't I just make up my mind? One minute I feel sorry for the guy, the next I don't have the patience to listen to him.

"Yeah, we should." The darkness in Rhode's eyes was back, a storm brewing in the sea of green. "What the hell was that in there, Aubrey? It's not like you to suck faces with a guy you met only minutes before. I thought you had more respect for yourself than that, and you're lucky I don't go back in there to break his fucking jaw!"

"Oh, I'm lucky?" I gaped, not wanting to believe that he had the audacity to speak to me as if I had no morals. "No, you're lucky that I'm even giving you the time of day to have this little conversation. You don't know anything about me, so I suggest you keep your insults to yourself."

"Maybe not, but you know I'm right." He spoke in such a smug manner that it made me tighten my muscles to keep from lunging at him. There was no need for it to be rubbed in my face, and what was with the guys around me thinking they were always right?

And so what if he was right this time? That didn't give him the permission to make me feel ashamed about what I'd done. If my faults were going to be the only things discussed, it looked like my time to head back inside came a lot sooner than expected.

My voice was low, bitter as I tried to keep my fuming to a minimum. "And why does what I do, matter to you? We're not together. You also made it perfectly clear last night that my feelings had no value, so I really don't understand why you're upset right now."

Rhode stared down at me in disbelief, his face scrunched up in bewilderment. "How could you think that you don't matter to me? Have you been paying attention to anything during the past few weeks?"

Was he serious? I must've been imagining everything that happened from the time we met or Rhode was even more oblivious than I thought. Yeah, the latter seemed about right.

"Have you?" I bit back, squaring my shoulders as I moved to secure a stance in front of him.

"You don't even know what you're talking about, Aubrey." His chuckled dryly, almost in a mocking tone as he shook his head. "God, you're so damn infuriating, you make me want to rip my fucking hair out."

A few seconds of tension-filled silence hung in the air between us, and at that moment, I came to the discovery that there was something wrong with me. Something seriously, seriously wrong.

Rhode's eyes were blazing as he backed me up against the wall, his face bearing an expression I had never witnessed on him before. Without even laying a hand on my body, I was pinned below him, my ears ringing from the rush of blood that flowed to the tips. Obviously, he was angry, and when I saw my reflection in his dark, forest eyes illuminated by the street lamp above, my lower belly flipped in excitement.