Head case

Chapter 2

Chapter 2
walking out of the door separating the waiting room from the office's, I can tell by the look on moms face that she has already gotten the new prescription and she's not happy with the results of today's endeavor. "so, what's the candy of the month?" I ask gaining some looks from people around the room. Moms face gets red as she grabs my arm and leads me out of the building.
"why would you say something like that in front of so many people?" she asked once we got to the parking lot.
I don't know what she means by so many people. There were only 3 maybe 4 people in there. And honestly, I was just trying to make her smile because she looked so upset. But like always she would never get it if I tried to explain it, so I just put my head down and told her I'm sorry.
The car ride home was just like the ones we always had after appointments like this. Nether one of us wants to talk about it because neither one of us likes the way things turned out. Mom wants answers and I just want to be left alone. But I can't get what I want until she gets what she wants. We stop at the pharmacy to pick up the new meds and then we go home without saying another word. Not the best mother, daughter relationship. But hey at least she doesn't beat me.
I know there are people out there who have it worse than I do, so honestly complaining would just be wrong. I have a roof over my head, food in the fridge, and a mom who makes sure to tell me she loves me every night, even if it's forced out sometimes. That's really all anyone needs.
It might hurt that she's embarrassed of me, but I get were she's coming from. She wanted the pretty perfect daughter and I'm just........ not. I've tried to be, I really have. But that's just not who I am.
I'm the quiet, sit in the back, probably think I cut myself type (I don't). But that's just the person people think I am. And honestly I don't really care. The only one I wish could love me for me, is her.
    My only hope is that we will get this all figured out and she will finally be proud of me. But at this point I'm scared nothing will help. Because 17 years is a long time and it's even a longer time to go without getting the answers your looking for.