The Space I Call My Mind

Space I Call My Mind

The Space I Call my mind is dark ,grusome and haunted with all of my sin and my lies. Listen close and you will hear the laughs of the demons who have trapped me in the dungeon of fear. Misery Is King and Pain is queen. I am a prisoner so it seems.

They keep the gates locked in the palace of Fear so evils stays in and hope can't come near. Guilt and depression are my cellmates in that space in my mind. they tell me how I let the evil in, and how I should've drawn the line. Depression gives me many gruesome thoughts, like when she said  ,"slit your wrists or put a gun to your head!"I constantly fight what he tells me to do but worst part is that what she is telling me is true.

Day after day I barely survive. though I never once excelled never once thrived. "Suicide"depression whispers ,"Its a quick little ride". It is also the only thing I have not tried. When is my time why haven't I died maybe I should consider depression as my guide . 

I am miserable and all I want is to to be free.maybe I should just let guilt stab a knife through me,maybe I am better off dead maybe depression should blow a hole in my head.

Death is coming closer but I am no longer afraid. Maybe it is the price I should've paid.I have no control,I no longer rule.Maybe depression isn't the fool. Depression esclaims," I'll tie the noose and you grab the stool".

  My will to live hangs by a thread in the iscolated, depressing space in my head. One things for certain I feel broken and alone in this place that I once called my own home. What once was filled with happiness and dreams is now disgusting and rotten and falling apart at its seams.

   Joy was murdered curiosity was kidnapped. My hopes were broken and all love was trapped. The demons giggling as I hold back my tears while telling guilt all of  my whoes and my fears.depression says "No one loves you they won't care if your dead. I cover my ears with a pillow I found on my bed.depression says,You have lost and they have won won't controlling your ending be fun.

   leaving this earth after so much pain has so little loss and so much gain. It seems easier each second with this pain and strife it seems so easy taking my life. Everything is already gone. The great evil was the chessboard and I was a pawn. I am a burden,I'm not gonna lie, This must be the final goodbye.

I can see clearly now I am no longer dumb. I refuse to play the week and cowardly victim. When I die the Demons will leave me alone. Not a scream, a whisper or moan. My time is up ,the end is here my mind is a hunter and I'm done being a deer.

  I have been torn apart piece by piece,I will no longer be a slave, I will have release.You may be fooled by that big smile on my face but you will soon find out that I am a disgrace.If life is a race I'll skip a lap or 2 just so the misery can be through.

  I am in a kingdom infested with pain and hate sadly for me it is just way to late. A tragedy is what my story is and will always be ,a tale of a person who was driven by hate,lost all control and was destined a fate. My mind was a car and was hijacked by evil and hate.

In an exhausting battle with darkness I want to see the light. I am done with the sickening stressful fight. The grim reaper is so close and is finally coming for me. He has come to set me free. I will see those who have previously passed on. Death filled with pros and has no cons.

When I was very young I thought I knew pain look at me now I am a going Insane. I used to have friends but the demons scared them away but I didn't deserve them anyway. Back then good things happened to me now the demons make shure that they turn on me.

I used to have it all in my life, my family and love that is now replaced within my back a sharp knife. They have given up on me and I have given up on myself and to think I lost it all to my mental health. I've tried doctors and therapist but they couldn't help me. The gates in the kingdom were to thick and to tall to get the demons free.

   One fateful day while I lay in bed the shocking truth filled my head.When a soft voice said, "the land of the dead is the home of the free.""Leaving this world is the only way you can be joyful again, and be truly happy.

    I think my mind has been long gone since my dreams turned to nightmares and when joy's warm smiles changed to evil's cold stares. In a land consumed with darkness I can finally see, the light around the corner is truly ready for me. I must leave soon and my one wish to be is that maybe someone will remember me . Not for the bad not for the strife but for the good if there was any in my life.

      My choice is officially made up death is the only way. it is the only price which I can pay. I take depressions hand and say,"you were right"! She smiles and asks," no more denial or fight? Guilt nods in agreement with what is right. I cheerfully say,"depression check the rope make sure it's really tight". Death is the only option that I can find,the only way out of the space in my mind.