Diaries of her life.

Chapter 1

"She was 19th, with the baby on the way. On the eastside of the city she was working every day. Cleaning dishes in the evening she could barely stay awake. She was clinging to the feeling that her luck was gonna change" (Alec Benjamin- If we have each other)

April 1st,2019.
I tell my mommy that i'm pregnant in the same time she slaped my faces and punched me till i fell to the floor. And she told me to left her house and here i am. On the small apartment with my belly that gonna big and bigger. I know i made my mommy disappointed for what i did to her. It was an accident and i'm not gonna abort this fetus. This baby is my miracle that i've got accidently. My boyfriend left me after heard that news. He such an asshole. But it's okay. I can take cares of my self. So i'm gonna writes everything that happening in my life in this diary.
I know i'm gonna be okay:)

April 2nd, 2019.
I've got a job faster than i expected. In the restaurant as a chef. It's a biggest things right?
Since tomorrow i'm gonna work. And i feel sick. I think it is because my belly. I named my belly is popoe. Cute right? Popoe, mommy gonna take cares of you. Don't worry.

April 4th, 2019.
Yesterday i went to party. And yesterday is my first ever work day. It's fun and little bit tired. Because the restaurant is the famous restaurant in this city side.
I made my one dishes that i made by my self and my boss said it's good. Tomorrow is gonna first sell of my new dishes.
I've got text by my daddy. He said, he is gonna transfer me some money every month. He knows my problem. And he said if he had time, he gonna visit me so i sent him my address.
I thinks the road began to open for me and my fetus. I hope so.

April 7th, 2019.
For past 3 days i'm not writed a diary. There's a lot if things happened on my life. And i can't writed it in here. Too long. I'm gonna saved it by myself.

April 15th, 2019.
My belly being bigger. And i feels sick like every time!!
I can't handle every time i feels stomacheache and headache. But it's okay. It's because my belly.
Popoe, i take cares of you alone. So please don't make me feeling tired and anxious.
And i met someone yesterday. He is cute and understand all my problem. But i couldn't trust him easily like that. I'll be aware.

April 21th, 2019.
I went to a park with him. Oh anyway, his name is Ardhan. He made a lot of food to us to eat on the park. And ya.. we had an amazing time. He was barely touch me like others guy. He take cares of me and makes me feel like a princess. Then my daddy transfer me some money today. He said home not feels like home anymore because it so quiet. And he said he miss me. I miss him too. But we can't meet. Because of my mommy.
I miss her. She is the most patiently mommy i've ever known. But for the first time, she lost her self and disappointed for the messed i made.
Mommy, i love you. And i'm sorry.

Mei 1st, 2019.
My big belly never makes me feeling so chill just for one minute. Sometimes i felt some kicking. And i went to the doctor a couple days ago and she said she already knows the gender but i said i couldn't want to know it right know. Just be secret until i give birth to it.
And today, Ardhan came to my apartment. He said how come one women lived in this small apartment with her big belly and i'm just laughed for what he said. It's true. This apartment is too small for me and i think i'm gonna find the more bigger than this.
Let's find out because Ardhan will help me to find it.

Mei 10th, 2019.
I found a bigger apartment than my old apartment. It's near with Ardhan's apartment.
The more i knew him, i more falling in love deep with him. He's different. He take cares of me and he makes me realize that the world is more perfect if i have responsibility.
He said he loved me. But i'm not sure. I'm in love with him but i'm scared, something bad gonna happened unexpectedly and i hate it. I hate to take cares of all the worst thing that i've never wanted.
And everyone just scolded me and made me as the criminal.

Mei 12th,2019.
Yesterday night, Ardhan sleepover my apartment. He hug me tight and said "Irina, you're beautifull than you know". And i'm just shocked.
He didn't touched me like my ex boyfriend did to me. He sleepover my apartment not because he wanted to had sex, but he wanted to know me as who i am.
We just having a popcorn and watched some movies until he slept on my shoulder.
And when the sun is rises, he made a pancake and a hot lemon tea for breakfast. I'm touched for what he has been doing for me. He literally did everything to me. And i hope so.

Mei 15th, 2019.
Popoe being bigger again. It's big like a melon. And it's hard to walk and stand up. But Ardhan help me, again.
He came to my apartment everyday. He cooked something to ate for me. He washed all the dishes and made a juice or milk for my body.
With him here, i feels so calm and my stressed little bit gone. He made me realize again, that there's still a guy loves me this much. Not because my body, but its about feeling.
And i'm happy. Once again.