Other People [ Harith x Alucard ]

You took us from the stars to zero

3

Harith was 17, Alucard was 25.

Harith woke up. It was a dream. A damn dream. Alucard would never want to have sex with him anyway. It felt as if Alucard never even had fallen in love with the boy. The worst thought were crossing Harith's head and it was terrible. The small boy thought he would fall into another one of his panic attacks about losing one of his loved ones.

You just want me cause I'm next.

Harith got out of the bed and looked around the bedroom. Alucard was not there. Fear and panic came back. The boy quickly rushed around the whole apartment. Alucard wasn't there. He wasn't there. The panic just kept kicking in.

"HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU!"
"GO DIE!"
"YOU'RE JUST HIS NEXT PLAY TOY!"

"STOP IT! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" Harith yelled and straight up went to the bathroom. It was like a game - make the right choice, you keep something, make the wrong choice, lose it and get punished. The voice kept coming back. Saying things like: "go die", "hang yourself", "cut yourself". Harith was having all of it.

He looked at the mirror and saw himself. He looked like garbage. Pure trash. Harith remembered where Alu used to put his razor blades and quickly checked that exact drawer. They were there. He took one of them out, then quietly and slowly pushed it into his arm. It didn't hurt. Harith shivered. Why didn't it hurt? It felt as if it was giving him pleasure. And now he remembered why.
It released endorphins. Endorphins gave pleasure. Why did it feel good though..? It was basically just cutting his skin open and the blood running down.

Harith heard a door creak open. He threw the razor blade back in. It was covered in blood. His arm just... Had a huge cut now.

"Harith? Where are you?" Said Alucard.

Fuck. He fucked up.

Harith just hid in the bathroom.
"Harith, I was gone to get some stuff for breakfast, did you go anywhere?" Alucard kept asking and exaining where he was. Harith loved that soothing voice.

The boy just fucked everything up. He just... Wanted to run out of the bathroom, hug Alucard and cry.

So he decided to do it.
Alucard was thankfully in the halway leaving his bags to the side right when Harith ran over to him.

"Harith..? What the hell did you do to yourself?!" Alucard said and looked at Harith's arm which still had blood running down.
The boy just his in Alucard's chest, hugging him as hard as he could. He was sobbing.

"Baby, why did you do this?" Asked the man and cupped Harith's cheeks with his hands.
"I d-dreamed that we made love, t-then I woke up, you w-weren't there and i-i thought you left m-me... Then a v-voice told me to... D-die and c-cut myself s-so I did i-it..." Explained the shaking boy and Alucard widened his eyes. Anxiety. Fuck. Harith had an anxiety disorder.

"Oh my god, Harith, no... It wasn't a dream." Smiled Alucard and wiped some of the tears from Harith's face.
"We did make love. You fell asleep right after we did though. You were tired and I decided to go get some breakfast. I would  never leave you, honey." Said Alucard and Harith instantly launched himself at the older male, crying into his shoulder once again.

The blonde man decided to carry him to the bed and just... Lay down. He layed down then proceeded to lay Harith on his chest.

The older male processed to hug him tight and whisper soothing words into Harith's ear as he gently held his now scarred arm.

"It'll be fine. Just trust me, Harith." Said Alucard, smiling as Harith fell asleep.