Clouds Leading To The End

Time takes it all

7:00 am-

I wake up with orbs of sweat racing down my face and the duvet constricting me like a cobra to it's prey. The sand timer next to my bed has run out like the one in the dream. This is just another day that I wake up from a nightmare. They're basically half my life now. They take up more space in my memory than school or normal life does. Unlike most days, I feel drained of emotions or feeling. I'm numb and paralysed with cold, almost as if I was a rabbit in headlights. Then I feel the room begin to warm up and begin to stow itself away into the grey abyss that feels so familiar now. My feet slip of my bed, which is when the appalling fact that I don't have feet strikes me. Yes. No feet. Just gooey raven tentacles that seep with a strange silver liquid similar to the consistency of honey. They slither from my bed sheets and slide across the cool, laminate floor. But before i can reach anywhere, grey devours my thoughts and the scene before my eyes.

8:30 am-

My eyes fly open like blinds, letting in the blinding light of a Sunday morning. My heart pounds away at my chest as if it were an animal encaged in a cardboard box. My hair sticks to my face with heat and sweat. While my head is pulsing, I begin to feel lightheaded, although this is a part of my daily routine. Numbness drowns me and power takes charge. Stamina and strength boils in my veins while sleep escapes , a stowaway of my emotions. A sick feeling covers my face as I sit up in my twisted bed sheets. I must pinch myself before I check for my feet, otherwise maybe this will be my last nightmare. Ow. The pinch leaves a small indent on my arm, a temporary tattoo to remind me of what I go through daily.

8:50 am-

Now is the moment where my life differs from my nigh routine. Walking towards the mirror, I instantly catch a glimpse of my pale, ghost like skin and gasp to myself. I'm still wearing the same shirt however creases embed in it now, at last something over than stains. I look into my eyes again and notice how i'm falling apart. I don't even know what world I'm in anymore. I don't even know who I am. I don't even know who I want to be. But this isn't it. My appearance matches my room: a mess. Sometimes I let my self guilt take me away. Sometimes it feels like I've got no where to take myself away to. Sometimes i don't feel anything except merciless. Silent screams fill my mind along with rage. Green with envy? No. I'm not envious of others. Besides, envy isn't green. Green is peace and tranquillity. Envy is red. Envy rushes through my veins like poison. Envy burns. Envy is a loud yell of hate.