𝙴𝚇-CHANGE | 𝟷𝟾+

11

I wipe away the burning hot tears as I watch my friend being lowered into the ground.

If I had just stayed by her side. If I had been the one to take her home.

Swazz tosses a flower into the grave. Then zendaya then gilinsky. Derek tosses two then takes a chug of beer

I stare blankly at her casket. Hoping she'll just wake up and tell me it was all a joke. Just a sick joke.

Nate grabs my shoulder then tosses his flower in. We all say our final goodbye before Chante is one with the dirt.

Back at home everyone is quiet as can be, hoping not to say the wrong thing. Here and there I get a few glances that turn into comforting smiles

Most of us are in the lounge just sipping the day away while the rest are sleeping. Derek and I are watching tv, sharing a bottle of vodka cranberry on the couch.

We hear the faint whispers of "how are they's" or "have they said anything?" But we ignore it. It's not long before I'm in the room by myself.

I blink my eyes a few times to avoid falling asleep on the couch but I give in and doze off. All I remember thinking is that I no longer wanted to be at freshlee.

Later, I'm woken up by the feeling of a smooth tongue grazing up and down my folds. I open my eyes and see Nate eating me out while he uses his hands to keep my legs apart.

I moan a bit and he sees that I've woken up. He looks at me and continues going at it. I tilt my head back and push his head down further

He grabs hold of my legs tighter and I shake as the orgasm takes over. He managed to make me feel so good at a time like this. I loved him for it.

But I hated myself for it..

After I'd finished moaning, I let the tear trickle down my face and pulled my legs back in a huddle

Nate watched me and sighed. I knew he was upset. He wanted to make me feel better

He reaches into the compartment beside the bed and pulls out a picture frame. I watch him admire the picture of a guy smiling. He had his arm around Nate. They were in the freshlee house so he must have been one of us

After 3 minutes of silence, Nate took two fingers, kissed them, and raised them to the sky.

He was honouring a former member. It also felt like he was honouring Chante. He wanted me to know he had lost someone close to him too. And that I wasn't going through this alone

I then wiped my tears and kissed two of my fingers, raising them to the sky

A week later Nate and I are adjusting the picture of Chante on the wall as Derek directs us, drinking bourbon straight from the bottle

"Left... left... aight that's good"

Nate and I let go of the painting and he puts his arm around me

"Whatchu think?" Nate asks me

"It's perfect! You're right, this is a great way to celebrate Chante's life" I say smiling

"I'm glad you think so. But I ain't talking bout the picture"

I look at him confused

"I'm talking bout me saying I'm falling for you"

"Oh.. Fuck.." Derek says, tip-toeing away "imma head out"

Nate and I look at each other

"Just one date baby, I ain't gon disappoint you" he pleads

I roll my eyes and reply

"One. Just one daddy" I smile

Nate bites his lip and walks away. Makes you wonder who's really in control here at freshlee