Without You

~October 9, 2020~

Puddles of rain pooled around my feet as I stood, head hanging low, looking down at the grass below my rain boots. Gloomy red roses were strewn across the ground and seemed to be crying out in sadness. They looked as if someone had left them there earlier this morning. Memories of earlier this week flooded my mind as I stared at the roses, studying the intricacy of their petals from afar.

~October 2, 2020~

Laughter echoed throughout the house as we sat on the couch, eyes glued on the television in front of us, frantically pressing buttons on our gaming remotes. Little characters scrambled up tree trunks, trying to see who could reach the top of the tree the fastest. My character ended up winning by just a hair.
" YES VICTORY! " I hollered.

" Not fair! " Violet whined. I leaned over and hugged her lovingly. Dad held us both closely and smiled. " I love my two girls! "

At that very moment in time, everything was perfect. Everyone was happy, with not a care in the world. However, none of us knew what the future would hold. None of us knew that soon, our lives would be torn into pieces, with every glimmer of hope completely vanished. Joy would no longer be apparent, leaving us with despair and somber feelings.

~October 5, 2020~

The morning started like any other morning in the Hoibakk family. I woke up around nine o'clock, Violet around ten o'clock, and dad around eleven o'clock. Breakfast was blueberry pancakes, with rosemary bacon, and a glass of orange juice.

Sitting in our "assigned" spots at the dining room table, each of us scarfed down the morsels of food in front of us, cracking jokes and laughing at one another's stupidity.

That afternoon, our lives changed forever. Dad sat on the couch, peacefully watching Whisper of the Heart with Violet and I- one of our favorite movies. Dad laughed childishly. Suddenly, he began wheezing and clutching his chest. Jumping up from my seat, I rushed over to him, asking if he was okay. He wasn't able to produce a verbal response, so I pulled my phone out of my pocket, and dialed 911. Minutes later, paramedics burst through the door holding a gurney, pushing me and Violet out of their way. They hoisted my dad onto the gurney, and hurriedly transported him to the ambulance. I grabbed Violet's hand, and followed close behind the ambulance in my dad's truck.

Violet and I arrived at the hospital shortly after the ambulance. The nurse told us that my dad was in room 997. As we entered my dad's room, we noticed that a white sheet covered my dad's legs. Terror filled my mind. As we rounded the corner, I noticed clear tubes full of fluid attached to my dad's arms, and one big clear tube entering his chest cavity, carrying blood to my dad's corpse. Panic overtook Violet's innocent face as she dropped my hand and ran over to the bedside.

" Daddy! Are you okay?! " she shrieked, while hoisting herself onto the bed. Dad was unresponsive. The heart monitor was beeping incredibly slow, as if he was holding on to life by a thread. The doctor came in, motioning for me to come speak with him.

" How is he doing? " I asked, worry trembling my voice. The doctor looked at me sympathetically.

" Your father had a very serious heart attack. The heart attack resulted in his heart becoming severely weak, to the point where it cannot pump blood by itself. I have hooked his heart up to a Ventricular Assist Device, which is the only thing keeping him alive. " My mouth dropped open as his words registered in my brain.

" I see. " I squeaked, as tears began to fill my eyes.

" You have two options. Either he lives connected to the Ventricular Assist Device for the rest of his life, or we disconnect it, and he will die. " the doctor explained.