They're strange things - emotions.
They're the cause of heartache, pain, suffering... and so many other things.
They amaze me, really, they do. Because each person reacts differently to each situation, you can never predict the outcome unless the person in question becomes predictable.
What is it like to trust someone?
How does one person become so completely predictable that you're able to trust that they won't hurt you, that they won't use you for some cruel and unforgiving reason?
It baffles me. Because emotions are fascinating, anyone can feel love just as well as they can take it away. It seems like the most extraordinary thing, emotions. How could they even be seen as ordinary?
But I suppose that the most difficult things to do in life are the most ordinary.
Remembering to smile, having to put on a smile for the benefit of others. Smiling as a greeting, as a passing, smiling when someone tells a joke, even if you don't understand it.
Remembering to make eye contact, even if you're uncomfortable. Remembering to say you're doing well when asked, even if you're not. These ordinary things never come naturally to me, I've always been an outsider to a seemingly colorless world.
I know that I'll never be ordinary, much less extraordinary.
I watched out of a classroom window, how couples laugh or smile at each other, I wonder what goes on behind those smiles.
Are they really happy?
Are they truly "in love"?
I turn to pay attention to the teacher, listening to him drone on.
I'm tired.
So tired.
YOU ARE READING
What Lies Beyond the Silence
General Fiction"Can you sit up?" I continue to stare at her, I thought she went to class? Waiting for an answer, she still has her eyes on me. After a while she says, "What? Did you really think that I was going to go to class and let this happen to you?"
