Be More Chill

one

The room is bright and alive at 8:45 A.M.---I can almost ignore Middle Borough High School's zombie fluorescent lighting. Mr. Gretch is up at his desk, a tall bald head with wisps of hair and a beard. He's accompanied by a newspaper and a cactus; in about twenty seconds he's going to take attendance. To my left is Jenna Rolan, the Coolest girl in class.
     Jenna is already talking: "She was like, 'I'll only do it if you beat me in pool!' And then of course she intentionally lost in pool. What a slut!"
     Jenna likes to talk about her friend Elizabeth, who is a "real" slut. In fact, when I think about it, Jenna never talks about her family, or TV, or when work is due, or the ins and outs of procuring concert tickets, like most girls. She just talks about how Elizabeth is a slut.
     "You should've seen what she was wearing. It was like a garbage bag with a condom on top-"
     "Bwer-her-her!" Anne laughs. Anne is the second Coolest girl in the class, which is math. She sits infront of me so she's always twisting back in her chair to talk to Jenna, which reinforces the fact that Jenna is the Coolest and she is second-Coolest. Girls are very territorial.
     "Ka-yur-uhhhh." Mr. Gretch clears his throat from the front of the room. "Abbey?"
     "Here."
     "Asu?"
     "Here."
     "Atborough?"
     "Here."
     "Azu, not-Asu?" Mr. Grench absentmindedly cups his cactus. This never seems to hurt him.
     "Here."
     "Caniglia?"
     Christine rases her hand. I look over at her. She looks beautiful. "Here." I look down.
     "Duvoknovich?"
     "Here."
     "Goranski?"
     "Here."
     "Heere?"
     Oh yeah.
     Here comes the fun part, the part that has been stressing me out since they started taking attendance (in fifth grade). I can't say "here" in response to my name. It confuses teachers. I raise my hand quietly and say: "Present." Somebody snickers up by the front of the room. Are they snickering at me? Are they? Can never be too sure. I pull out one of my preprinted Humiliation Sheets, write the date up top and put a tally mark next to the Snicker category. I cover the page tightly so Jenna can't see. Then I retune my ears to listen for copycat snickering.