P O S T E D ✓

Snowballs

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Harrison's expression was nervous. It was clear he didn't want to have this conversation. If it was up to him he would have navigated the conversation around the subject all night, but I wasn't willing to let it go.

The truth of the matter was he had hurt me and emphasized a self consciousness inside me that had always been sensitive. I couldn't shake the feeling that it was me who scared him off and I couldn't go forward with him with that niggling in the back of my mind.

"I'm afraid my excuses will not make up for what I did." He began, a frown marring his perfect face. He looked so serious as he he took my hand in his and lea dime towards a group of wooden tables near some food stands. "Do you want some deep fried Oreos?" He asked innocently eyeing the cart with the delicious treats. I narrowed my eyes a slight teasing smile on my face as I tried to lighten the mood.

"Harry." I warned, the shortened name just slipped out and for a moment it reminded me of what I heard Liana call him, but at the same time it felt natural and his eyes sparkled as he noticed too. It seemed he liked it.

"Okay, I'm sorry." He looked away from me and I didn't push him, feeling like he needed a moment to gather his thoughts.

"I didn't kiss you that day."

"I know that. I want to know why."

"It was a combination of reasons, but you should know I really wanted to. Even though I said it wasn't about Liana I wasn't giving the whole truth."

I knew it had something to do with her. I mean how could it not? She had slipped away from us that day and left me to lie to everyone about it. Harrison has been so angry at her and I didn't blame him.

"Li and I, we'll everyone knows we've been on and off basically all of high school. It's always been pretty complicated between us, to risk being cliche. It's always been hard for me to see other girls"

That wasn't true. Harrison Cole was known for being a heartbreaker. He'd been with plenty of girls besides Liana.

"You've dated other girls before, on your breaks with her." I counted and he nodded.

"I have but they've always been just flings. Ways for me to fill the gaps between Li and I. I always knew she did the same, but those people never meant anything to either of us."

"So you were just using them? Is that what this is? What I am? I gap to fill?" I asked, my voice shaking as I tried not to let it break. He reached for my hands quickly, squeezing them.

"No- I don't think," he groaned, "This is why I didn't want to tell you. It comes out wrong. I didn't kiss you because I didn't want you to be a filler girl. I know Liana is seeing someone else. I know that's where she went that day at the mall. Right after she told me she wanted to get back together. I didn't even want to, what we had was always so trivial in the big scheme of things. I didn't want that for my senior year.

"I wanted something new. But it's hard to break old habits, you know? I really thought we'd try again, but she lied to my face. I was having doubts anyway and I," He began to smile, "and I was starting to like someone else."

I didn't know what to say.

"Me?"

He chuckled, "No, Becky Loggs. Yes of course you, Tana."