Life hits hard

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I was looking out the window in my oldest brother's car thinking of what happened last night, it makes me shake and cry inside thinking about it. "Akemi get down already were here" I shake out of my thoughts and grabbed my bag getting down from the car, as the lady that was holding up a stop sign smiles "good morning," she saids as she gives me a generous smile but I just nodded and smiled back "morning" I didn't make any eye contact. Just walked off past her going inside the building which I was kinda early. well not really. I just went in to my first period class, sat down in my usual spot quietly.

The room was dark all you could see is the lights coming from outside the door. I sat there uncomfortable and shaking a little, the teacher didn't have us do anything that day just some project I could care less for. I looked over to my friend that was sitting next to me,I stretched out my arms wanting to tell her but was kinda scared, I took a deep breath in "hey can I tell you something? but promise not to tell anyone" she looked at me confused and said, "I promise what is it?" I sighed and wrote it down since I couldn't say what I was about to tell her or maybe regret it in the future. I slowly handed her the note that read"My brother raped me"  she freaked out and looked at me, she looked so pissed off and mad but she spoke out "can I show Azreal?" I nodded because I trusted my friend Azreal. She passed the paper over to her and she looked at it and also got mad "I'm gonna murder him" Azrael said looking at me. I chuckled a bit from her reaction.

After a while of them asking me questions about it and being very mad about it class ended. I got my stuff and walked out to go to my locker so I can get my books for my next class. While I was getting my books my group of friends walked up to me all the sudden "Hey I heard.....I'm sorry..." one said concerned "what happened?" another said me being overwhelmed I started to cry none stop "I...didnt know...what happened...I woke up to him there.....I didn't know what happened" I said crying none stop unable to control it my friends gave me a big hug "don't think about it, ok....everything will be ok," one said "Akemi I'm sorry you had to go through that I'm here for you ok and I will show you some BTS to make you happy" she said as she pulled me to class since we had class together I wiped the tears in my eyes and sat down with her as she showed me some BTS smiling, I smiled with her, after a while we then started to do our work from class. I tried very hard to focus but honestly, I couldn't, all I could think of was what happened to me last night the things my brother did...I gulped and was flipping through pages to find an answer to the question of the work I got.

After hours of flipping through pages and writing down the answer, I turned it in and while looking at the time it was already towards the end of the class so I got my stuff together putting it in my bag. I sat there looking at the time and tapping my fingers watching the clock tick all I could hear now is 'tick tock tick tock tick tock' then snapped out of it when the teacher let us all go. I slowly got up and walked out with my friend I put a fake smile so she doesn't feel as concerned for me as before. Throughout the day it was pretty normal, me hanging out with my friends and no one asking about it again, slowly I forgot about what happened last night and well I knew that it won't last forever.

It was already the end of the day well..for school anyways, I waited for my brother or someone to pick me up I say that because not always I get picked up, sometimes it takes hours but I wait. When my mom finally pulled up I got in and I didn't say anything she smiled at me and spoke"So how was your day?" she said while driving home I smiled pretended like I was ok and looked at her "It was good" I said smiling then looked forward she didn't say anything else so I put my headphones in and listened to my music watching the trees and cars pass by while we drive. Music made me more comfortable made me block the outside world and well relax for once. when I listen to my songs and hum it takes me to a world where I can relax and be lost in my music nothing else.

After being in my own world listening to music we finally got home like always I got down grabbed my bag and went inside into my room. I face planted on the bed and sighed in relief I relaxed and stayed like that for a while then I went on my phone texting friends online to try to distract myself from everything. My parent left for work and I was alone in the house with my brothers at around 6 or 7 pm I started to talk to my friends laughing away "Yeah I know he would totally do that" I say laughing "I know right he would" my friend said giggling, I smiled and then I heard my older brother in the other room. Now our walls of the house its  pretty thin so you could hear everything in another room well my older brother was in the living room looking outside from the window.

"The cops are outside looking for someone" I heard him say on the phone, my heart dropped because I was scared they might be looking for me...I gulped and started shaking praying it wasn't me they're looking for. I took a deep breath and told my online friends while I looked out the window and saw the cops stop right at my house. I was so scared my older brother went outside and talked to the cops after a while he came back inside freaking out "Akemi there looking for you" I was shaking at this point but I put my jacket on and shoes grabbed my charger and phone. I walked outside towards the cop I was very scared the cop looked at me and smiled "hey you Akemi?" I nodded scared he smiled and shook my hand "Nice to meet you I'm steven and this woman here is Stephanie she will be taking you in the car to talk ok" he looked at the women and then me  I nodded still scared for my life but I went in the car with her, she got on and looked at me.

"hey I'm from the CYFD and I help kids like you so please tell me what exactly happened" she looked concerned but I know that's just to comfort people but I told her everything and after I was done she said"ok I'll be taking you to the hospital so we can prove you got raped ok?" I nodded as we waited  a while then she finally drove off with me I was kinda scared just a bit but she smiled and laughed at it "So what kind of stuff do you like doing?" I thought a bit and responded"writing, drawing, and reading books also like watching shows" she smiled as she started to talk about her life and how much people she had to take care off I kinda just drifted off in my mind thinking of what will happen in the future after thinking deep I snapped out of it with her asking me a question "You hungry? want to get some McDonalds?" I nodded as she smiled and talked on the phone to tell the officer shes gonna stop at McDonald's to get something to eat  after she was done she then looked at me " what will you like from there?"  she spoked I thought for a while and said"chicken nuggets and sprite" she smiled and we went through the drive-through got some food for her and me I then drifted off in my own mind again as I didn't notice we were already driving away with the food.

I got my food and ate it as I thought about my family, my dog, my life in school a tear rolled down but I didn't show it, I sat there quietly and she stops at the hospital I got down and followed her inside which I saw my parents...my heart scrunched up seeing them which they look at me like I made the biggest mistake in my life.

After what seemed like an eternity I finally was taken into a room as they told me to sit down to talk about what happened. Like usual I told her everything and she wrote it down while I was talking I told her my father was hitting me I then started to cry about it. It was very emotional to tell someone that but she comforted me, after a while of talking, she gave me pills for if I get a disease and not get pregnant I got overwhelmed with so many pills but I took them all hoping I don't die in the process. After hours of gulping in pills, I put on a hospital blouse and laid down on the hospital bed so the nurse can do the test. After she was done I got up quickly threw up all my food in the trash my glasses fell in the trash bag but the nurse got it and cleaned them for me which she felt so bad for me. She got a bit upset but when she was done with everything she needed I went back to Stephanie she was looking towards me "So you threw up all the McDonalds that I bought you?" I nodded looking down because I didn't want to talk about it she saw and quickly took me back to the car which I thought everything was over until.

"So I will be taking you to the shelter you will be safe there until tomorrow ok" I nodded and sighed she drove into a place and before we got down she spoke again, "you can't have your phone so you will have to turn that in ok?" I nodded and sighed I got down and she ringed the doorbell. After a while, a girl let us in we both walked in and I sat in the office as I wait for them to do the paperwork then slowly I signed papers which took forever to finish.

After an eternity of papers, Stephanie left me there with people I don't even know I waited on the sofa as they give me stuff  which was a toothbrush and a blanket to sleep in, the girl that helped do papers showed me to my room I laid on the bed laying there thinking 'what will happen next will I go home?' I looked around the room I saw a girl sleeping in a bed right next to mine and I looked more around and saw another girl in the bed across the room. Layed there on the bed awkwardly moving around but after a while, I finally fell into a deep slumber hoping that the next day will be better than today.

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