I woke up a little early and went to the kitchen. Which is near the living room also known as the main area. I sat down there and got some pancakes that they gave me. I ate it slowly and a girl I saw was going in and out of the bathroom and her room.
After a while of sitting there eating, it was pretty early so I sat down on the couch. I was very shy but across from me I saw a boy, I didn't think much of it and sat there waiting to be picked up by Stephanie since she promised me she will come to pick me up.
The girl that was walking in and out of the rooms she sat near me, she didn't say anything but I would kinda see her as a pretty girl but she also looked like a girl that messes with other guys. I honestly don't like that kind of girl.
I faked smiled at her as she looked on the couch and saw there were cards. She first started to mix them up then looked at me "do you wanna play some cards?" I shrugged, me being a shy girl, I sighed "sure...but I don't know how to play any card games" she looked at me like I was living under a rock for a very long time, which I gotta say I kinda em living under a rock since I never had someone to play cards with "you seriously don't know any games?" I nodded at her question "yep none" she gave me an annoyed looked and well the boy that was sleeping on the couch got up and looked at the girl. "Can you believe this girl doesn't know how to play a card game" they both laughed I looked down a bit upset and thinking to myself 'I just never learned how to play cards' after in thought the girl looked at me "Come here I'll teach you how to play garbage" I sat a little closer she started to put the cards down to teach me the game.
After learning how to play and me almost winning more people started coming. I went to the kitchen which everyone else was in. "Let's play bullshit," a girl said "Yeah okay," the boy said and they all started to put the cards to play bullshit which I didn't know how to play either "Hey you, do you know how to play" I shook my head no and another girl spoke "She doesn't know how to play any card games," she said it so rude and mean I couldn't understand why but they all just laughed at it as I looked down upset of them laughing at me for not knowing how to play card games "well let's play bullshit she can watch and learn"
They then started to play bullshit as a boy put down four cards "BULLSHIT" a girl yelled out "No look at them I'm telling the truth" the boy said pointing at the cards looking at her. I smiled a bit thought it was kinda funny "Okay fine I won't see them knowing you" they continued to play and tell their shelter stories "He picked up a chair and almost threw it at me" a girl said laughing I smiled a bit listening in on their conversation not saying much since I'm a very shy girl.
The boy then had to leave he smiled at me "See ya later" He said and left with his stuff. Everyone went to the living room or main area I followed and watch the girls with an Mp3 player. I didn't have one and thought how lucky they are to have at least music to keep them sane. "Why are you in the shelter?" I sighed and looked at them "family problems cyfd took me here" they all looked at each other and started to talk about how they used to be on probation and wanted to run away. Talked about how they did weed, smoke, they would ask me if I ever did stuff like that the only thing I did was weed and vape they would laugh at me and say I'm a goodie two shoes. I honestly see that but it's ok I guess I could say. After a while, I see Stephanie from the cameras that are put in front of the shelter. I smiled and well it made me have hope.
I went with her to some kind of therapy place. I had to sit down in a room and they made me talk about what happened, which got me a little upset but I went through it and got some stuff in the process. Just like every therapy place they just smile and say stuff to get you to tell them everything and say things will get better. I dealt with everyone and then finally was taken back to the shelter. Inside I was breaking wanted to cry so badly, but couldn't.
I would always think 'why didn't I just keep my mouth shut' as I walked into the shelter again I put all my stuff in the room on my bed then went back. That was when they broke it to me that I'm gonna stay at the shelter for a while. I broke down in tears crying in the office as they told me I might have to move schools made me cry more and more. They tried to calm me down. I tried to get them to at least to leave me at the school I was in before everything happened, even tho I was bullied and told shit but I had my friends who thought about it there the reason I'm here in the first place.
"Okay we will see if the blue bus can take you but if it doesn't I will register you in a school here in Santa Fe okay," the staff or an old lady said to me as I was kinda crying about it and not even me would understand why I was so upset, I mean I should have been happy good things is that there are no bullies, no one knows me just a fresh start, right?
Before I could walk out the staff gave me an mp3 player which inside made me so happy I have music which will make me sane and a little upset from everything. I know that no one cares about me in there never felt like it was home after thinking about it I missed 'home' more and more. Even if my dad was abusive and my brothers are messed up and mean I did miss my dog and of course my mom. Well, I just remember the last thing she said to me before she left to work.
~Flash back~
"Your gonna be alone with your brothers so behave okay" I nodded while texting someone on my phone then looked at her "I will don't worry" she smiled at me and said "I'll be home tomorrow I love you" I smiled and nodded "Love you too"
~Back to reality~
Thinking of that very moment made me realize one thing which was to be happy with the little family I had. After a while of crying it in my head and trying not to cry.
I was very depressed but I slowly forgot about it after listening to music to calm me down and well make me happy. But that only lasted for a few minutes. Well after sitting there people would look at me worried but I doubted that they cared I just shook it off "I'm fine don't worry" I said putting a fake smile at the girl that asked me she let it go and we watched the movie.
After hours of watching movies it was dinner time, well dinner time we sit at the table as a family and well eat together. I served myself and well ate at the table I gotta say that's my favorite part of the day, eating at the table like a family. My family we never had dinner like that usually we get food and eat it but never as a family so when I sat there eating with everyone like a family it made me a little happy. Some of the staff would say scary stories were really fun to be there.
"Okay now everyone cleans your dish and Ill tell you your chores for tonight" My favorite staff of all well I call her mom she the best. She can keep a smile on someone's face but I mean she the only person in the shelter I could make cookies with but I never was that happy still depressed.
"Okay, Akemi you sweeping the kitchen" I smiled and grabbed the broom to sweep the kitchen. I never mind chores but well in my family my parents don't give chores is usually just do what my parents say and don't ask questions. Usually, I have to do all the work but here in the shelter, it's fair everyone gets a chore and gets things done I sometimes wished my parents did chores like this.
After I finished my chore I was able to help mom make the cookies and well that's my favorite part of the dessert. I finished making the cookies with her and well it was time for bed. Doing the cookies and all it got my mind off my house and slowly I forgot about everything but when I laid in bed after everyone was asleep I cried alone in my pillow its like everything I experienced just hit me after crying I fell asleep it was a hard day but have to go to school soon but not tomorrow.
