Broken Bonds

III

I hadn't even gotten both feet through the door before I was tackled to the floor.

"Amber! Your back!" I smiled brightly, having missed that little angelic voice. Looking up at my seven-year-old niece, I had to choke back tears. 'Wow,' I thought, 'she's grown up so much...' I gazed into those beautiful, innocent Caribbean Blue ocean eyes, and I realized something. The last time I had seen those eyes was two years ago, when I left her and my sister at graduation. They looked oh so broken back then...

"Hai Crystal, where's your mom hiding at?" She said that Brooke had run to the store to get some food. (Good thing I decided to call ahead then.) I carefully sat up, holding my precious niece close to my chest as I got to my feet. Her giggling made my heart fill with joy as she and I spun around a few times, only stopping to set her down and go inside. This, this is what true family is. Not just what it is about, but what family stands for.

"Broken eyes can only see the shattered pieces. Broken hearts can see the pieces, what they used to be, and what they could be."

- Kimberleigh Bramer

"I say, my fair lady, this tea party is absolutely marvelous!" I spoke in a terrible, yet funny British accent, smiling and laughing at how tickled Crystal got. She couldn't stop laughing as I made slurping sounds and funny faces, all while being 'British'.

The back door opened while all this was going on. Crystals' eyes sparkled as she catapulted out of her chair and over to her mother's open arms. As I walked over to greet Brooke, I noticed that she looked exhausted, as if she hadn't slept in a few months.

"Hey, Am, how's it going? How long have you two been waiting? Has Crystal been good?" Brooke looked up from her little angel and judging by the fact that her smile slowly disappeared, she could see how hurt I was. She moved towards me while I nervously bit my lip. I hadn't even gotten one word of my apology for calling and showing up out before my sister was holding me tightly in her arms. I had to fight the urge to just fall apart right then and there in her arms as I hugged her back, hiding my face against her shoulder.

"It's so good to see ya little sis." Letting go of me, he held me back to give me a once over, "So, how long are you gonna be staying for this time? Three, four days? A week?" I looked away from her, dreading what I was going to have to eventually tell her. Lifting my head back up towards her, Brooke looked me in the eyes while raising her eyebrow.

"Amber? Hey, hey what's wrong? Are you ok?" The worry in her voice was obvious, as was her facial expression changing from sisterly love to concern. Letting out a defeated sigh, I pulled her into the kitchen, away from Crystal. I was crying, but I didn't care anymore. I told her everything. How Mark had cheated on me three times, how he had hit me, and how I had finally left him. Brooke, choking back tears and rage, pulled me close to her once again, rubbing my back lovingly, telling me to just let it all out. I wrapped my arms around her tightly, afraid that if I let go, I would lose her. Some time had passed as I finally pulled away. Whipping my eyes, I breathed in deeply, yet shakily, slowly letting my arms fall away from my big sister. I smiled weakly as she told me I was going to stay with her and Crystal for a while. I knew I could count on Brooke to be there to save my ass, again.

While putting what little bit of clothing I had left with away in the dresser drawers, Brooke waltzed in and sat on the edge of the bed.

"So...what made him snap like that on you?" I turned around, confusion on my face as clear as glass. I asked what she meant, not connecting the fact that she would obviously have questions about what I had confessed to her in the kitchen not an hour earlier.

"You know, what made him attack you like that out of the blue?"

1 month earlier...

Trust, by definition, is the belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength in any given thing or being. Honesty is not hiding or lying about things to your partners or anyone you love in life. Mark didn't understand these concepts.

Where is he? He said he would be home around nine, it's almost midnight. Why isn't he answering his phone?! Is this my fault? Oh god, did I piss him off?

"H-hello?" He finally answered, after three gut retching, heart shattering hours of me panickily trying to find him.

"Mark? Hey, it's Amber. Where are you? I thought you got off work at 8, it's almost midnight."

"I did, I'm just out with...uhm...some friends." I could hear how raspy his voice was, the bass-boosted music in the background, the wild shrill of girls laughing and giggling. I didn't want to believe it, but I knew instantly that he was drunk and lying. I already knew he wasn't with his friends; I had called them all desperately trying to find him. Mark was probably at some hole-in-the-wall strip club. He just couldn't stop drinking lately. I let out a soft sigh of relief and anger.

"Mark please. Don't lie to me, I'm not that stupid. I know you're lying; I just call your-"

"Why do you always doubt me? I swear, I'm just out with the guys!" He raised his voice. Shit, I pissed him off again. Seems like lately I can't do a damn thing right.

"Mark! No, you are not! I just called all your friends and none of them knew or know where you are! Just tell me the truth! You're at a club, aren't you? Please, don't lie to me anymore..."

The line went dead after that. Mark hung up on me. I threw my phone across the room, screaming out in anger. The second part of my heart shattered. Honesty was gone. What did I do wrong? Why was this happening to us? To me? I collapsed onto the bed, shaking with anger as tears streamed down my face. I felt so helpless, so useless. So unwanted...

Mark finally stumbled through the door around 2 a.m. He slammed it shut, which woke me from my crying-induced sleep, and started calling out for me.

"A-hick-mber? Get out her now!" His words were slurred beyond belief. Mark was more than drunk; he was S.F. Shit-Faced. As I slowly walked out to him, he lunged at me. I screamed as he hit me hard, his hand slapping me in the face. I stumbled backwards, stunned and shaking in fear. I couldn't process what had just happened. Mark had never hurt me like that before...ever.

"M-mark?" Stuttering, I backed away from him in terror, my eyes wide with fear. I backed myself into the corner of the living room; Mark growled as he stepped forward towards me. Suddenly, his hands were around my throat, pulling me off my feet and into the air. I clawed at his hands, choking and gasping for air as my legs kicked wildly around, trying to break free of his death-like grip on my neck. Squeezing my eyes shut, I started silently praying that Mark wouldn't kill me. I suddenly fell to the floor, quickly pulling my knees to my chest as I gasped for air. He had let me go and had his fists against the wall. The third part of my heart had broken. Trust was shattered.

I breathed in shakily as I turned away from my sister.

"It wasn't Mark that night. He was someone else. Someone I didn't know." I closed the drawer softly and sighed. I knew I could never go back to him. Not after he had hurt me like that, but some part of me wanted to forgive him and forget about it all. I had loved him for so long, why did this happen now? Why did it happen at all?