Ever since I was little girl, I liked to listen to the rain falling onto the streets, whether it was soft pitter-patter or loud pouring outside. I never really knew why, maybe it's because I lived the first four years of my life in Seattle, or maybe it's because rain was the international symbol of depression.
I was trying to stop cutting. I was. But an addiction, it's hard to quit. I can remember the first time I cut. That dreadful day was also the day I happened to get beat up by some bullies at school. The main one? Her name was Poppie Golde. She was pretty, blond, beautiful.
Everything I wanted to be.
She bruised me so much emotionally I went home and found my scissors. Then I slit my wrists.
That was when I was thirteen.
Poppie had since moved to another country and I was addicted it. Only Zayn and Jocelyn knew about it too. I didn't understand why people hated me so much. My parents rejected me, teachers thought I was dumb because I couldn't grasp the concepts they taught, so I decided to just get away. I dropped out of high school, moved into Jocelyn's flat, where she lived by herself after shipping off the day she turned eighteen.
I had been cutting for six years. Six years of physical and mental agony. I hadn't cut for six months now, but on this camping trip and tour, I had brought a blade with me just in case I had to let off steam.
I guess that's why I was so happy at the moment; because it was raining and I was with my two best friends, driving up a canyon to do my favorite activity. Camp.
Once we were at the site, Zayn paid the cab driver and grabbed all of our luggage out of the back; and there was a lot. We were going to be on tour for six months, we had almost our entire closet in those bags.
Jocelyn saw the lake and before I knew it she had disappeared. Now it was just Zayn and me walking side by side. He grinned at me.
"So, you excited to meet the boys?" He asked me.
I looked at my worn out sneakers. "I guess..."
He looked a little confused and I heard a car pull up. "Why not?" He asked me. I only had to make eye contact before he ripped up my sleeve and I saw tears form in his chocolate brown eyes. "Lana..."
I started to cry and he wrapped his arms around me. "Don't be afraid, they'll love you." He said with pure seriousness. I hugged him tighter and all of a sudden I was in the dirt. I felt the weight of not one, but two boys on my and I gasped for air.
"ZAYNNNNNNNN!" I heard a loud, high voice yell. I heard some laughing from other boys and I heard another one say with an Irish accent,
"Wow, major Zouis feels." I finally wriggled from beneath them to see a boy in a striped sweater with wispy brown hair. He smiled at me, glancing over his back, "BRYNN! WHAT'S THE HOLD UP?" I saw a girl with strawberry blond hair attempting to carry fifty pounds worth of luggage by herself. I felt bad and immediately rushed to her. I saw how her green eyes sparkled and the spray of light freckles on her nose. She thanked me.
"Thanks. That boy up there is my best friend Louis, and as you might be able to tell, I'm Brynn."
"Kaylani." I said with a smile, grabbing some of her luggage and walking up with her. Louis laughed and hugged her so tight her feet were lifted off the ground.
"So, I'm Liam," One boy said with brown hair. "And that's Harry and you've met Lou," He said gesturing toward a curly haired one and the one in a striped sweater. I smiled and waved a little, although on the inside I was frowning.
"And this," He said, revealing the most gorgeous, handsome and perfect boy I had EVER laid eyes on. He was blond and had beautiful crystal clear blue eyes. "is Niall."
He smiled and shook my hand as I felt tingles and I realized Jocelyn had been behind me the whole time. She shook it as well, introducing herself.
"Well," Zayn announced. "Let's give out tent assignments."
"Liam and Harry," He said. "Louis and Brynn," they gave each other a high five behind their backs. "Jocelyn and me," he said with a wink to her and rolled her eyes playfully. "And," He said pausing. "Kaylani and Niall."
Great Zayn. Put me with the boy I liked. real smart. I plastered on big phony smile and grabbed my bag and turned my back before any of them could see me blush.
