It's been over 22 years since I've never seen you beside me,I always try to forget you but I can't because your still out there dad,I loved you but you didn't love me at all,all those fake hugs and cuddles I gave you Everytime before,you hurt me when you left me the last time in my house in your car,you said"don't worry I'll be back"and you LIED to me,you threw me out of your world forever as I cried in pain from the very first guy that had hurt me in my heart.i am very afraid of guys because of this,I've loved you for everything but you hurt me bad,why did you leave me when I needed you in my life time,all those times I cried by being a victim of molestation and abuse you weren't there to defend me and stop them,it all hurt me and it made me the worst of what I am now,I have nightmares everyday because of it,I cried every night for you to come back and comfort me,but you didn't, i thought I was your special daughter,your dear and only daughter but I guess it was lies that you always do,your selfish for this dad,you couldn't think of me for once,every damn birthday I went without you I would cry my eyes out every night and looked out the window for you to arrive but you never did,all my graduations we never even saw each other ,I never knew I was manipulated and used for such lies you gave me dad,how can you sleep at night and be somewhere else without even thinking about me dad...I can't leave you alone because I miss you eventho I hate you for all these things,your still my dad and gave me life ,without you I wouldn't have this life where I then got better and had more positive things,because of you dad I'm sometimes afraid to love because I don't want to be betrayed or left alone.i can't hate you just dislike you for what you've done to me,I want you to cry and understand what I went through,I want you to once to think about what you did and what you can do to have me eventho I'm an adult,I want answers eventho you don't answer them honestly,I love you dad no matter what,your my dad and I want you to one day face me,hug me and tell me how sorry you were,and I want to do the sane when I'm not afraid anymore ...dad ...dad put everything down , wherever you are for my love ....
I
just... Wanted answers, why didn't you want me back... You just left,i messaged you before but you just message my name, and not daughter... Am I nothing, I thought you loved me... It was all pretend, you never wrote letters to me, I think you blocked me... And it's fine... You just had a job, to be there and to protect me, from the pain, I don't know if I'll ever forgive you... I'm always saying that I will... But will I really.was I not good enough of a daughter.... For you.
