She's The CEO

19. Sibling Secrets

Sitting on the bay window of my room, the thought that keeps on recurring in my mind is that day only, when I realized how easily I was tricked by Chris. All I ever was for him was a one night stand and nothing else.

Sure, there have been many moments in my life where I had felt worthless, especially because of my mom, but that day, I truly felt it with an intensity that I could not even recognize. 

I always think that what truly hurt me the most was how wrong I was about him. I thought him to be a kind and a gentle person, he turned out anything but that. 

I place my head on the wall and finally take the liberty to shed a couple of tears. Chris is the last person for whom I want to cry but the sunset outside my window and the bustling streets are no longer giving me the relaxing vibe. 

Its all sad. 

I am utterly glad for the week to be finally over because weekend is all I want now. My mind needs some clearing up to do. I almost think about joining the Yoga classes my mom told me about until I realize I have no time. 

Sigh.

I wipe my eyes and shake my head to put myself together. Deciding to take relaxing bath, I find myself in the bathroom taking out scented candles and filling up the bath. Lighting the candles and stripping from my clothes, I lay in my tub and put some relaxing music on my phone.

Closing my eyes, I try to inhibit any thoughts to penetrate my brain and all I do is stay in complete oblivion. I wish things could always be this way. Where there is absolutely nothing to worry about. But I know thats not possible. Being a realist, that too a bit on the cynic side, I have never wasted my time in thinking about 'what ifs'. 

'What ifs' have never been something positive for me. They make you sad and disappointed about your current situations. One can never change the past and only work to have a better future. What ifs never make you strive, they just make you a slob. 

What if Chris never did that?

But he did, right. And all I could ever do was to hate and despise him. 

But I'm not so sure about the hate anymore. In fact, maybe I never truly hated him. Maybe it was all my hurt and now, all I can think about is his dull eyes and his apology. Not to mention I do kind of miss the sapphire glint of blue that his eyes always had, until now.

So, much to try stay in oblivion, I think. I should just accept the fact that it will not be easy to not think about him. 

I pick up my phone. This won't leave my system until I tell Caleb and he gives me his shitty yet very helpful advice. 

As I pick up my phone I see two texts from. Mia, I completely forgot about her.

Mia- Hey Bianca, I was thinking tomorrow we can go to that hospital. I was thinking  10 in the morning.

Mia- Bi, where are you?!?! 

I quickly reply her saying that will pick her up and we can go tomorrow. I sigh realizing the number of reasons for my headaches are continuously increasing. 

In a sad demeanor I postpone calling my brother and decide to sleep even though I am pretty sure that no amount of sleep is in my way tonight.

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I wake up groggily, and as expected, with almost negligible amount of sleep. For the day I decide to wear a plane white chiffon shirt and some comfortable black pants. After having a good breakfast that Martha had already made, I quickly get to my car and drive my way towards Mia's shared apartment with Samuel.