The Calm After The Storm

about time

What was he thinking?

Baekhyun wondered, snuggled up in the comfortable seat of their van, what exactly he was thinking when he decided to apparantly 'man-up' and talk to her.

It'd been 45 minutes that he'd opened her Kakaotalk chat and god bless heechul for adding him in a group with Taeyeon so he wouldn't need to ask someone for her number. Which would've been pure humiliation.

I've no reasons to talk to her, and especially as an ex boyfriend who may or may not still be crazily in love with her what am I even doing?

Try as hard he might, Baekhyun just couldn't make sense of what he was trying to do. Nor could he find the the courage.

Fearless Baekhyun. They said.

Baekhyun who can do anything. They said.

But what did they know? What did they know about how hopeless he becomes when it comes to a certain Kim Taeyeon.
She was the exception to every fucking norm he had.
And he loved her. He thinks about that every night. It's not healthy but it makes him content about that part of his life more and more.

Atleast he has someone who he loves dearly. So much that he's more than happy seeing her happy.

At the beginning of their relationship they both had fell so hard (in the span of what people would consider less than average). It was so, so passionate that when it died down, it killed a part of them both.

Forcing himself to stop over thinking, he tried to entertain himself with what he was going to do tomorrow since he had a whole half a day free and-

"If you want to talk to her, just do it"
Startled a bit by the unwelcome voice of Jongdae, the man that knows him like the back of his hand (and Baekhyun hated him for that) Baekhyun shut his phone at once out of embarrassment.

After debating with himself for a while he decided to put his flustered arguments aside and ask Jongdae for advice. Because at the end of the day, there really is nothing to be embarrassed about. Not with Jongdae, atleast. His most reliable friend. The guy believes in him more than himself.

"So yeah, I'll get back at you later for peeking at my phone, but other than that-"
Jongdae had his smile on, as usual and it awed Baekhyun how he did that all the time.

How can a person be this- this, fucking nice? All the damn time?

Oh gosh, the mood swings are hitting already. Baekhyun thought about how easily his mood turns 180 in the shortest span of time these days. He must be losing it because of all the tiring work.

Jongdae's shushed voice talking to him calmed him, in a way.

"What i mean is, just, don't overthink about this. Stop thinking about what she'd think and just talk to her if that's what you want. Just do it, okay. And just ignore that mockery voice inside your head. That shit doesn't do anything good to you. Trust me, I know"

Baekhyun was dazed as he thought about how wise Jongdae was. Jongdae's past relationships really did him good, in a way.
It irked him to think about the wrong decisions he'd have taken by now if it wasn't for Jongdae butting his nose in his business. And Baekhyun was thankful for that.

"Yeah. Yeah I get it. Thanks."

Simple words but Baekhyun knew the other man understood.

Glancing through the window, Baekhyun realised that they already made it back to their vacation house. They didn't live in the place but today was a "special" day. Junmyeon had said.
Of course it was special, it was their anniversary and what better way to spend it like the homebodies they are than by hanging out indoors? And most probably also drinking until dawn. Screw them though because he couldn't really hold his drink well. Whatever. He likes cola better anyways.

By this time he's fingers were shaking. Fuck, what was he even nervous for? It's Taeyeon, just Taeyeon. Even though they broke up, he loved how they were always comfortable with each others' presence. Nothing was ever awkward. Maybe it's because they really just fit together that perfectly.

He's mind was elsewhere yet he had already sent the text to her. and before he could regret, before he could even think for a second about how lovestruck he might have sound, he put the phone back in his pockets hurriedly before shutting it down. Tonight he's not going to think about when it what she'll reply with. Tonight he just wants to get wasted. And face her reply (if she ever does) tomorrow, with the ideal scenario of a morning hangover and a dizzy mind - his way of coping with fears. Scratch that, Taeyeon related fears.

Taeyeon

I just think it's about time and

Can we just talk like how we used to before?

I'm sorry if I bothered you