Zayn looked deep into Perrie's eyes as he thrust into her one more time, his eyes glossy but still focused on her, as they always are when she is around. He moaned and growled as he reached his high, while Perrie remained quiet, not fully reacting the way he wanted her to. He had sobered up a little bit but not too much to notice how distant his soon to be wife was acting.
He flopped down next to Perrie, taking the condom off and disposing of it in the trash. His breathing was still heaving as he tried to compose himself and turn to talk to the woman in his bed.
"Well that was fun" he chuckled as he started to move his lips down Perrie's neck, leaving soft kisses in his wake. She quickly pushed him off and threw her legs over the side of the bed, starting to pick up her clothes in a hasty manner.
"Wait... Babe what's wrong?" Zayn was genuinely concerned as he reached out to pull his fiancée back into bed, with him, where she belongs. Perrie stood up swiftly and began to gather her things, which were by now all over the place.
"Perrie would you please tell me what's going on" zayn begged as he stood up and began to dress too. He hated this feeling: his heart being twisted in several different directions, his mind racing, it only meant one thing: he had fucked up.
"You knew how I felt about you smoking weed! And you know you're sisters look up to you and how dare you disrespect your responsibilities by, not only doing it but recording The whole thing! Safaa is 10! She's doesnt understand what weed will do to you and you didn't even consider what she would think about weed after she sees you doing it! And our children will find that video and think its ok to smoke! But no, you just went right ahead and got yourself high and didnt think about your family, your fans or us!"
Zayn stood there absolutely shocked. He had no idea perrie felt like that. She was usually so chill about this sort of thing, because her dad smoked cigarettes and was ok with zayn smoking on occasion.
"Baby, I so-"
"No, you're not! And you know why, because you wouldn't be high right now if you were! I barely see you as it is and when I do see you, I don't want to worry that you'll become a drug addict and ill find you in a crack house somewhere having OD'd. Do you have any idea what it's like knowing that at any moment, a loved one could be taken away from you?!"
Yes, zayn wanted to say, because everyday could be the day the hate becomes too much for you and then you'll leave me for someone better. But he didnt because he knew perrie needed to get this out of her system. Instead, he said the worst thing he could possibly say, so that perrie could let out all the things she needed to:
"Then why were you just in my bed, making love to me, when you could have just yelled at me and left!?"
"Because I missed you, you asshole!" Perrie paused to catch her breath and look for a reaction zayn, but he motioned her to keep going.
"Everyday I'm not with you is like a day with breathing or feeling anything! It's like I can't live without you there and you're off having a good time, not missing me-"
And at that moment, zayn knew he needed to say this:
"Are you kidding me?!" His sudden outburst caused perrie to pause.
"You think I don't think about you and miss you, and crave you kiss and body every second of every day?! You don't think I don't consider quitting my job and hopping on a plane and just being with you all the time, everyday day? I would give up anything to have that! But I can't and you know I can't and we had this conversation when I first told you I love you! Do you think I was lying when I said those three words to you?!" Zayn was now starting to come towards perrie, regaining his breath, slowly going down to his knees.
"I will never not miss you, I will always love you and I will never let you go" zayn proclaimed as he rapped his arms around his petite fiancées waist.
"Please never leave me. I need you" he cried as tears formed in Perrie's eyes and she ran one of her hands threw his hair in an effort to comfort him. But she couldn't do it. She needed time to think, and she and zayn both knew that she needed a breather.
"I promise. But I need time Zayn. I need time" she said as she pulled away from his firm grasp and slowly walked out the front door, closing it lightly. And zayn just stood there, trying to get his breath, but realizing his air had just waked out the door.
Author's note:
Well hello! I'm so sorry for not uploading in forever. Some stuff went down at my school and had a lot of work and just.... Life. Anyway, this is not the last chapter and i already have a plan for the next one, so spread the word about this fix because I actually kind of like it. :) have a good day
