I looked at the ring with nothing but hurt, anger and resentment. But I couldn't help but let out a tear because I'm so tired of fighting for someone who already let go.
Love. Love. Love.
Love. A four letter word that holds so much meaning. I gave my all to a man who wanted nothing more to do with it. Love was at the end. His love fizzled and died out.
He didn't react when his phone was vibrating near him. He was at peace.
But the bright light in the room just confirmed all my worst fears. It brought me back to that day when we first met but he immediately knew I was the one for him or so I thought. I want to hold his hand again like it was the first time. Kiss him and both us us realize we were made for each other but this isn't some fairytale.
I walk my way to his night stand. And I stare at him for the last time. I sigh because it felt like the last time I was ever going to breath. It felt like my heart was going to give up because of this ache in my chest that wont get any lighter.
Love. Love. Love.
Coursed through my veins and I wanted to immediately get in bed with him. I wanted to just forget that I even knew and play this fairytale because at least then I would be happy enough to go on with life without having to ask if I'm ever going to be enough but still yet there is this burning question that I need to ask. Why her? Why did he not care about me?
Why didn't he give a fuck? Why was I so easy to forget? Did you forget those nights you used to beg me to not leave. What does she have that I don't? Why does that whore feel comfortable calling you while you're at home?
But my mouth remains shut because I already knew the answers to them.
Love. Love. Love.
Has died out in the fire that he had set in my heart. He had pulled away without a second glance. he poured gasoline all over my heart and let it burn while he watched from a far because he enjoyed the heat but not enough to get burned that's when I knew I should've let go.
I knew him better than he knew himself. Almost too good because loving him took all of me and without him I didn't know me.
I love him, but I need to let go. If not for me. Then for him. Loving him wasnt going anything for the both of us. He was hurting from settling and i was hurting because we were both too selfish to realize we deserve more than what he thought was love.
I set the ring on his night stand near his phone and his ring. This time no tears came out of my eyes. I looked at the man in front of me and I feel so empty from within. He used to cure me. He used to kiss me from my toes to my head and wrap his arms around me without a second thought. He was the love of my life.
Love. Love. Love.
Has come to an end. And I think it's about time I learn to let go. I have to love myself enough to know that I'll be okay with out him.
Love. Love. Love.
It taunts me. It killed me. It was a brutal kill. It left me soaking in my own blood drained out and left out to dry in the sun for everyone to see. It twisted me, hung me. There was nothing left of me.
But I still loved him. Very much.
