Whatever Occurs: Till Death Do Us Part

Jacqueline Day

(As told by Louisa Markston)

It's very early in the morning. I can't sleep, so I turn on my phone and open up Facebook. I scroll down to see a post that Maly wrote on Misty Van Dyke's timeline. It's about Misty's mother, Jacqueline Day. Jackie had gotten diagnosed with dementia back in late August, and Misty didn't come out about it immediately, because she wanted to know how to process it.

"I am so sorry for your mother's dementia diagnosis, Misty. I know how heartbreaking it is because I watched my grandpa go through the same thing. For anyone to accuse you of making this story up because you didn't come out about it right away is just so wrong. May peace, strength, and clarity go your way.

Thinking of you and your mom."

I can imagine why Misty didn't talk about her mom's diagnosis right away. Her younger sister died on impact when she got in a terrible accident with a semi truck driver thirty years ago, and she still has so many unresolved feelings and issues after Isabella Day's unfortunate death. Her son, Malachi, died from cancer over a decade back, which was why she and her family moved out of Utah.

Misty and her husband, Austin, almost had to file for divorce after their insurance company wouldn't help them pay for their son's final expenses. To this day, they're still struggling with this, alongside the grief that comes with it. They didn't want divorce to become another part of their daughters' childhood they would have to heal from.

I see the post Misty made about her mom. She has a picture with her next to her mother on her hospital bed. My stomach drops when I read her words.

"My beautiful mother got diagnosed with dementia back in August this year. The reason I didn't post this earlier is because I wanted to keep in touch with my feelings, reflect on those feelings, and resolve any issues that could be resolved before posting on social media. This definitely isn't her first rodeo, but should this be her last one, I know she'll fight this hard and well. She's still just as beautiful as ever! I love you Mama, you got this.

If you have anything negative to say, please keep your thoughts to yourself."

I call Misty to talk to her about her mom's diagnosis. I remember when my grandma Edna died from dementia just five days after my cousin Sidney was murdered in a family disturbance. Sidney was mentally abusive toward his wife, and he and my other cousin, Gene, had a gun fight when Sidney got shot in the lungs. Gene has been in prison for over seven years and will be for the next five years.

"Hello?"

"Hi Mist, I saw your post about your mom."

"Yep, I'm devastated. I saw you reacted to it."

"I did. Those people accusing you of faking such a thing are so fucking disgusting."

"Mitchell has been accusing me of that too."

"Dude, that cumdumpster needs to get his ass fired and humbled."

"He did get fired."

"Fina-fucking-ly! Teachers like him deserve to have their goddamned pension taken away! I could be wrong, so please correct me if I am, but that's just my opinion."

"If you're a teacher, and you do treat people the way Mitchell does, you do deserve to have your pension taken away. Listen, I know his life wasn't exactly great, but he needs to take responsibility for his actions instead of looking for sympathy."

"I have no clue why I ever liked him. What did he say about your mother?"

"He said that if my mom's diagnosis was real, the picture shouldn't look blurry as if it was taken twenty-five years ago. He also said that he wasn't going to take me seriously because of my 'four-year-old girl voice'."

"What the fuck?!"

"That's what I almost said to him. I am glad I bit my tongue."

"My cousin Sidney was shot and killed in a family disturbance just five days before my grandma died from dementia. It was awful!"

"Oh no."

"Uh-huh. 2013 was really hard for me, but that just emphasized it. Just spend every free second you get with her that you possibly can, because that's exactly what I wish I'd done while my grandma was still here."

The call lasts for an hour or so. When we both hang up, Ashton comes to sit on the kitchen counter. She asks what the call was about.

"A friend of mine just recently came out about her mom being diagnosed with dementia."

"Is that the same thing your grandma Edna died from?"

"Yes, it is. I know how heartbreaking it is because I had to watch her suffer through it. Misty is such a wreck right now!"

"Misty Van Dyke?"

"Yes."

"Oh boy. I think she's a wonderful person."

"I love her too. I am so happy Mitchie Bitchy got fired. He made fun of her high pitched voice AND mocked her mother."

"Why did he have to be so hard to deal with?"

"I have no clue. He deserves to be stripped of his pension."

"I heard you saying that to Misty on the phone."

"It's true! Braxton Jermaine doesn't deserve his pension either."

I head into the bathroom to pee, then whisper to myself, "I gotta stop saying goddammit, otherwise I WILL slip up in front of Tony's parents one day, and it is not gonna go over well at all." I have a hard time with Tony about this, because his parents are very religious and he was raised in a Christian home. I, on the other hand, grew up around a bunch of sailors.