Billy Hargrove Imagines

Three Words

I've never told a lie and that makes me a liar.

I've never made a bet but we gamble with desire.

I've never lit a match with intent to start a fire.

My girlfriend mindlessly played with my hair while reading Catcher in the Rye out loud.

I hated reading.

She didn't. So she would do summer reading for the both of us by reading it to me.

Most of the time I would fall asleep with my head in her lap, her hands softly twirling strands of my hair or scratching my scalp. Her touch burning into me with every touch. I loved her.

I couldn't see me loving any other person in the world but her.

Allison was too good for me.

I wasn't good enough for her.

She was soft spoken, intelligent, and way to caring for her own good.

I wasn't.

She shut the book sitting it on the bedside table. "Hypothetically speaking... what if I went to Indiana with you?" She asked making me laugh. "No, I'm serious. I don't technically have a family, so nobody would miss me. I want to go to college in New York anyway so why not?"

I let out another laugh pulling her face down to mine. "Babe, that isn't such a bad idea. We'll be eighteen soon. We can get our own place never talk to my dad again. Get married start a family?" I said.

Pink filled her cheeks as her eyes lit up. "You want to marry me?"

I sat up nodding "when you know, you know." I leaned into her pressing my lips to hers.

"I love you." I whispered

"I love you too" She said smiling picking the book up as I laid my head back on her lap.

******

But recently the flames are getting out of control.

We both jolted up at the sound of my door flying open "Why aren't you packing? Why do you have some girl in my house instead?" He yelled.

"I told you, dad that I'm not going. I'll stay here with grandma" My father yanked me up slamming me into the wall. I bit hard into my cheek not letting my emotions get the best of me. Trying to ignoring the pain that was shooting up my spine.

My father wasn't a big fan of weakness being shown.

"You are going with us. Leaving you here to knock one of your whores up? I don't think so."

I glanced over at Allison and looked back at my dad. "She's not a whore, and if she were to get pregnant I would be a way better father than you have ever been." I spat through clenched teeth.

His hand slapped across my face hard as he grabbed my chin making me look at him. "You think you are responsible? Okay. once we are in Indiana, you have to take care of Maxine. What ever she wants to do where ever she wants to go, you will be the one that does it. You need to learn something about respect." He said. I looked back over to Allison who sat on my bed with her hand over her mouth and tears in her eyes.

She knew how badly I was treated by my father, but I made her promise she would not interfere if anything happened when she was over. Growing up, I saw what my father did to my mother. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if he did anything to her.

"It's time for you to take your friend home Billy" My dad seethed forcefully pushing me away.

******

Call me a name, kill me with words.

Forget about me it's what I deserve

"I love you, Billy" Those three stupid words pierced the silence. "Stop saying that." I said looking over at her. "I love you." She repeated reaching over for my hand. "Allison I swear to God. Stop saying you love me. I'm not a loveable person. People don't tell me they love me and mean it. So stop." She turned to me frowning "Stop acting like this—I love-"

"STOP FUCKING SAYING YOU LOVE ME. You don't. This," I gestured between the seats "is nothing. We are nothing. Don't you get that? You were nothing before we met but now you're getting attention and that is what you love. Not me"

Tears started falling from her eyes as she grabbed onto my bicep. "Don't act like i don't mean anything to you. I know you love me too. Billy, I'll go with you, both of us will be eighteen in a year we can-"

"Ally do you hear yourself? A year? A lot can happen in a year." I looked over at her as she wiped her eyes.

"Billy, don't shut me out like this. Please. I love you." She whispered rubbing the back of her hand on my cheek.

I grunted pulling over on the side of the road. "If you say that one more time-" She climbed over straddling my lap pressing her lips forcefully to mine. "You asked me to go with you. I'll go with you. Billy I love you. I don't know how many times I can say it until you understand. I will always be here for you. I don't want anyone else, please dont leave me here" She pressed her lips back to mine as she placed her hands on my shoulders.

I let out a laugh pushing her away from me licking my bottom lip. "Get out."

She sat back confused. "Billy...It's raining and we're nowhere near my house."

"GET OUT OF MY CAR" I yelled opening my door and pushing her out. "Walk home"

Tears welled up in her eyes as she stood up hugging her waist. "Billy please, don't do this."

"Do yourself a favor and just... just forget about me." I pulled the door shut turning my car around and speeding off.

Leaving the last part of my heart on the side of the road.

******

I was your chance to get out of this town but i ditched the car and left you to wait outside.

I hope that the air will serve to remind you that my heart is as cold as the clouds of your breath and my words are as timed as the beating in my chest.